Some background - I am a recovering gambling addict from the UK, so some of the stuff I will write may be a bit UK specific, but the general theme will apply to most countries.
If there are similar alternatives in your country - comment them below - it could help others out a lot.
Everything I write about below is 100% free.
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BLOCK ACCESS TO CASINOS

1. A recent tool some bank apps in the UK have added is the ability to block all gambling deposits from your card. Turn this setting on. If you then try to disable it, it will take several days for it to actually kick in. This way, you can't just undo it when you get the urge to gamble. If your bank doesn't offer this, IT'S TIME TO CHANGE TO A BANK THAT DOES, AND THEN CLOSE YOUR CURRENT ONE. Banks I'm aware of which offer this are: Monzo, HSBC - I'm sure there's many others.
2. GAMSTOP is a free gambling blocking service in the UK that when you register with it, betting companies operating in the UK must check with this service to see if you have registered a self-block. If the betting companies detect you have registered, they must not let you register with them/continue using their service. GAMSTOP can take upto 72 hrs to kick in once you have registered. Do it now. https://www.gamstop.co.uk/
3. Permanently exclude yourself from any betting site you already have an account with. GAMSTOP should hopefully do this for you - but regardless, log in to any betting sites you are registered with and go to Responsible gambling > exclusion, and permanently exclude yourself. One thing I used to be concerned with about this was - if I have a pending withdrawal and I do this, what happens? The answer is - your withdrawal will still be processed, you do not need to worry. Do it, and never look back.

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MUTE CASINOS FROM YOUR ONLINE SOCIAL LIFE

1. Twitter allows you to mute certain words - so any post containing such words that would normally appear in your feed - will now become completely invisible. I had a lot of accounts I follow retweeting betting adverts or just talking about betting in general, and now I no longer see anything remotely like this. To do this, go to Settings > Content Preferences > Muted > Muted Words. I added words: bet, accumulator, casino, odds. Other social networks may offer similar features, but I only use twitter.
2. Block betting email adverts from getting to your inbox. GMAIL allows you to filtecatch certain words from incoming emails - and if it picks a match up - those emails will be dumped straight into your spam folder. I cannot remember the last time I had a casino email arrive in my inbox since I set this up. To do this in GMAIL - Click the Gear icon in the top right, go to Filters and Blocked Addresses, Create new filter, then in 'Has the words' field - enter your words. E.g casino, bet etc.
3. Get a free AD BLOCK tool. On my PC, I use google chrome for internet. I have the chrome extension ADBLOCK. This automatically blocks adverts on things like Google search, YouTube, Twitter etc. I barely see adverts at all anymore - and most importantly, any betting adverts. If you've never installed an extension before, don't worry, it literally takes a few seconds. If you use firefox or another browser, google ad block for x, there are alternatives for there too. For chrome: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/adblock-%E2%80%94-best-ad-blockegighmmpiobklfepjocnamgkkbiglidom

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DON'T F WITH CRYPT* CURRENCIES OR ONLINE TRADING
I quit gambling a few years ago, and fell into this trap. I saw all the coins going up and up, and shoved a load of money into it. I didn't fully realise I was just straight up gambling at the time. I lost a fortune doing this. Do not let anyone rope you into this - all the stories are the same as regular gambling - you don't hear about the miserable stories, only the unlikely success stories. In the steps for muting/filtering above - I also added words related to this: 'trading', 'b*tcoin' etc.
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Good luck! I'm 2 years clean now, here's to the next 2.

[Links] are in the comments due to whitelisting
Sand casino operates like a fixed-odds betting terminal (FOBT) with comparatively decent odds - you put your money in, things outside your control happen, and you either win (and get a payout) or lose (and don't). People have an acceptable chance of doubling their stake, but the process is extremely addictive and is inherently stacked against you - the winnings tax means that, over time (and assuming you're playing fair against people with equal combat stats to you, giving you a roughly 50% chance of success), you stand to lose money.
This wouldn't be so bad if gp was finite because your total risk would just be your account value at time of playing, but the existence of bonds (and even without bonds, with the existence of gold trading - although bonds certainly streamline the process) grows your total risk to include your own wealth, as well as the wealth of other people around you.
Frankly I think this is a ticking time-bomb. Jagex (and many other companies, since loot boxes are roughly analogous here) are getting away with it at the moment because the final product is, in theory, non-convertible into cash. In practice, it doesn't matter whether the winnings are convertible or not (which, in reality, they are), since it's the process of gambling itself which is addictive [1], and not the end result. It is honestly surprising that the totally unregulated nature of the duel arena hasn't already ballooned into a scandal which will damage Jagex and the game as a whole, since such scandals have already hit other games [2], and legislation is likely coming in to regulate it further [3].
FOBTs have been considered a plague for problem gamblers, their suffering creating a significant amount of revenue for gambling companies. However, the UK has recently taken steps to mitigate and even eliminate the problem by lowering the maximum stake - from £100 per spin (each spin lasting a matter of seconds), to £2 per spin. Here’s an article from someone who experienced a gambling addiction on lowering the maximum stake [4]. If you've lived in London while this has happened, you may have even noticed a lot of gambling shops like William Hill have shut down - I think this is because their main revenue stream was based on exploiting people using FOBTs compulsively, and that income is now not available to them anymore. Clearly, this is a success story.
The duel arena has no maximum stake for members (although each player must stake within 10k gp of the other's bet). A 1bn gp is worth around $400 and can be lost in a matter of seconds, making it far easier than even FOBTs to lose a worrying amount of money through repeated 'spins'. However, a maximum stake - perhaps around 1m (~£1.40 or less at time of writing, if buying bonds in £) - would drastically reduce the risk to problem gamblers while still providing an avenue for people to stake, if they felt like it; it won't completely negate the above mentioned risks associated with running totally unregulated gambling, but it would certainly demonstrate that Jagex are listening to players and are limiting any abuse of the system to protect people with gambling addictions from themselves.

I wish I had found this sub years ago, as someone who lost a lot of time to video games this would have been a nice wake up call. I've been someone who was addicted, had a wakeup call, changed around it and went back to gaming. So here is how I got into it, the damage and how I broke out of it to make a life for myself.
Why I was addicted
So for starters, I am now 26, male, living a decent life and doing the things I love. I've picked up a lot of pieces and I'm playing catch-up, but before I get onto that, here is where the addiction started and why.
Flash back to 1999 and my dad had just bought me an N64 and Ocarina of Time. I was a kid brought up in alright conditions, not rich, not poor and my life centred around sport at the time. Plugging in that game was like a dopamine injection for me, bringing me into the idea of fantasy, boys doing amazing things and adventure. That was something that resonated (and still does) with little me.
Over time everything was gaming for me. I lived through Zelda (to the point where I would talk about it constantly), was obsessed with Pokemon like any kid and just wanted to play more and more games. Thankfully, games were expensive so it was rare that I got anything new and would instead play outside and re-enact the games in regards to my imagination.
This continued on through school, but more and more it became a part of my life. Going through high school, I was the guy who liked games. I had some friends and was social, but it was obvious (to everyone else) that spending 70% of my free time in games was reducing my ability in the real world. I wasn't social, but not to an impactful degree - yet. Hobbies outside of gaming weren't that important just yet, but this would definitely catch-up. I was nicknamed Nintendo in college (UK college, so 16 - 18) because of my Nintendo hoodie and the fact I played my DS constantly.
This was innocuous enough until I left college and everything hit me at once. I had virtually no close friends, my social skills were so poor that I was reaching Incel levels of cringe, I was severely unhealthy and overweight, and my hobbies included gaming, watching gaming videos and collecting video games. This followed me through University a few years later when all that would catch-up and pummel me on the head with reality. I couldn't live the life everyone else was living because I was ill-equipped. Whilst my friends were out having a great social life, partying, getting with girls (although unimportant in reality), I was just unsure how do anything like this and it spurred on a bout of depression, anxiety, and dependence on drugs. Not a good time overall, but I made the most of it.
Even though I left University a bit better off, I was still stuck in this grasp of shrouded motivation in life, inability to practice socialisation and budding hobbies I had little confidence in.
A wake up call
Apart from my dissonance in University, I realised how much gaming had claimed my life once my Nan died. She was a woman who lived through a thick smog of cigarette smoke, gambling and television. A nice enough woman, but one who lived barely a day in my life. I had flashbacks to an older time when I would have been content working paycheck-to-paycheck, collecting video games and just living with my parents. It pained me and slowly I was realising that games weren't as enjoyable anymore. In fact they hadn't been enjoyable for years thanks to my hobby of collecting games.
This led me to sitting down on my couch one day, playing Uncharted 4 and realising that I wanted to live a life with more adventure in it, just like when I was a kid. A life I'm leading now, but arguably should have been able to make happen years ago. That was when I decided to actually just turn off games for a while and plot out what was going wrong.
Taking what you can from games
Gaming on its own isn't that harmful of a hobby. Like anything, moderation is the key. If you're spending over half of your free time playing through a JRPG, collecting trophies or climbing the ladder, its highly unlikely you will be successful in other aspects of life. This is probably obvious on here, since most posts elude to this.
That being said, gaming isn't all bad. Gaming is a multi-media entertainment product, and as such contains all sorts of inspiration. Inspiration that can be used in other parts of life. This happened with me a lot, and many of my talents and hobbies piggybacked off of this.
Writing - I was really into writing in JRPGs when I was younger and enjoyed writing short stories that obviously took a lot of inspiration from gaming. I ended up wanting to talk, discuss and review games, to the point where I ended up making a bit of headway on various gaming outlets. I still do this now and then. However, I ended using all that experience to become a copywriter, which is a primary source of my income (please don't judge my writing ability on this post lol).
Music - My other main hobby now is playing guitar, and music in general. Its more akin to my identity than anything else now and I kind of have to thank gaming for that. I was obsessed with game music growing up, to the point where I picked up my brothers guitar specifically to learn songs from games I loved. I taught myself the instrument through that and have since been in bands, explored a medium and been way more fulfilled.
Art/Cinema - This became more of a hobby or an appreciation. I enjoyed the art in video games and this transitioned over to other things. It is isn't a big part of my life, but definitely something I enjoy.
Business - Oddly enough, my game collecting obsession came through an old money-mkaing venture I was into. I would flip video games from about the age of 13, making me a nice wage and introducing me to business as a whole. This however led to me keeping some games, but over time I leveraged flipping to make collecting sustainable and cost-effective. I honestly have a sizable value in games and I'm going to turn the into a deposit once I'm ready to buy a house.
However, this all being said. There is a limit to what you can take from games and at some point you need to venture out with these hobbies, skills and traits into the real world. Distance it from gaming and let you explore it in reality. Only then does it become something you can genuinely call your own. This goes for a lot of things, the likes of having quick decision making in games such as League or Dota are likely going to be tailored to those games, but they are still a part of the mind that can be used in some form and fashioned into a real life skill. The same goes for the likes of hand-eye co-ordination.
What I'm trying to get at here, is that the sunk-cost fallacy only runs so deep. Its not all a loss, but its important to use them in the real world and turn them into something that will make your life better.
Side note on gaming and personality
This is something that gets mentioned now and then, but its and easy pitfall to step into. Gaming and the gaming media can be very toxic for your personality and your perception of the world around you.
I was around and active in discussions during the whole GamerGate fiasco a few years back. It was something I supported and some aspects of it I look back on and wince. These discussions and gaming boards in general harbour a lot of opinions from people who look at everything from a window, they never see the real world. This leads to some horrific discussions around gaming that centre on politics, industry and social issues. Although some of this may warrant some attention, especially when it comes to treatment of others, I highly recommend you drop these discussions from your life. Its something that will rope you back into gaming and poison you with vitriol and rhetoric. None of this will have provide you any good in the long term. I recently flicked back on to KotakuInAction and GamingCircleJerk, two sides of the same subreddit coin. Being on them is nothing but a way to reinforce a toxic, one-sided view and will honestly be detrimental to your life as a whole.
This should be a first step, the less you're entrenched with the peripheries of gaming, the easier it will be to escape its grasp.
lil edit: I would also be careful about browsing time as well. Even subs such as this, they may be motivational, but if you're replacing your gaming time with time spent looking at things remotely to do with gaming, you are kind of doing something similar. Just spend that time making a change, not posting or browsing about it.
Breaking free
The hardest thing for me was getting away from the virtual and facing the real. Sitting down and plotting out where I wanted to head was a big thing and its something recommend (although any self-help guide will probably tell you this). I realised what I wanted to do and the steps I was going to take to get there, which was a long list.
It started with getting fit, sapping away time from gaming. Which in turn lead to me needing a job, sapping away time from gaming. This lead to me being more social, which sapp... well you get the picture. Over this period I noticed what I was missing in life, and the joys that these little changes had brought me. This was a difficult process and it involved a lot of falling off the wagon, getting back on until it stuck. The hardest part, arguably, was improving my social skills. This was difficult and required really stepping outside of my comfort zone and pushing myself to understand people better. It took me a lot of tries to get things right, more natural, but it was the best change I made to my life over the last few years.
When you start to enjoy reality the way it should be, you start to realise how hollow gaming can be in comparison. All this lead to me barely playing games for about two years, I didn't even enjoy them.
Gaming again
This all depends on your level of addiction and the toll its taken on your life, but I found a lot of joy in gaming as of last year. I found discipline and found a good time to play my games, where the rest of my life was in control, so I wasn't anxious or upset with myself 'wasting time'. I would see games I wanted to play, and just solely play that game in little allotted spaces of time. I even have duvet days where I just play a game all day. But it doesn't feel bad because its not my only objective in life, and isn't impacting my ability to prioritise the important and impactful.
This made lockdown all the more bareable. I was without a job, without socialisation and without much to do. So I spent time drawing up plans and dividing my time, rather than falling back into a routine of straight gaming. Over that time I managed to play some really excellent games and had a lot of fun doing so. But that's only because I felt balanced everwhere else. To those trying to quit now during lockdown, I really feel for you, I think you have it toughest. Even still keep going, use the spare time wisely and start allotting time gradually to things you deem worthwhile.
Tl;DR
I was addicted to gaming, my life centered around it, but I realised that I was going to die someday and wanted to actually live.
Anyway, apologies for the waffling, I just never had any way of speaking about this over the past few years since its such a niche problem in the wider world. If you are going through gaming addiction, all I want to say is that you can change everything, its never too late at all and it doesn't have to be a complete good by to a medium you enjoy once you have things sorted out.

40. Go Down Gamblin’ - Blood Sweat and Tears

Released in 1971, Go Down Gamblin’ by Blood Sweat and Tears is a song describing a gambler who is “born a natural loser.” He never wins, no matter what game he plays, but, he doesn’t feel like a loser. As the song goes – “Cause I've been called a natural lover by that lady over there, Honey, I'm just a natural gambler but I try to do my share.”

39. Gambler - Madonna

Gambler is a song written and played by Madonna, made for the film Vision Quest. Although the song reached the top 10 in the charts of the UK, Australia, Belgium, Ireland, Netherlands, and Norway, Madonna performed it only once on her 1985 The Virgin Tour. It’s a catchy song, we suggest you play it as you spin the reels of some of your favourite retro online slots.

38. The House of the Rising Sun - The Animals

Our list wouldn’t be complete without the 1964 hit song - The House of the Rising Sun by The Animals. Everybody knows the famous lines ”My mother, she was a tailor, sewed these new blue jeans, my father was a gamblin' man way down in New Orleans.” This single had a major success and made it to the top 10 songs on mainstream rock radio stations in the USA. Likewise, the hit was featured in the video game Guitar Hero Live.

37. The Winner Takes It All - ABBA

Whether we admit it or not, we all love at least some songs played by the very well-known Swedish pop group, ABBA. According to some sources, Bjorn Ulvaeus wrote the 1980 hit song The Winner Takes It All which was inspired by his divorce to his fellow band member, Agnetha Fältskog. The winner takes it all is a sort of a comparison to a divorce (especially the part ”I've played all my cards and that's what you've done too, nothing more to say, no more ace to play”), where one of them is the winner and the other one is left with nothing. And things are just the same when it comes to gambling, so we’ve decided to put the song on our list.

36. Shape of my Heart - Sting

We’re all aware of the fact that our gambling behaviour can be influenced by certain types of music and that's because online gambling and music go hand in hand. So, we suggest you start playing your preferred games with one of everyone’s favourite songs by Sting called The Shape of my Heart. It was released in 1993 and used for the end credits of the film Léon. In one of his interviews, Sting explained that the lyrics of the song tell the story of a card player who places bets not in order to win but to figure out something that’s been bothering him - “some kind of scientific, almost religious law.”

35. All I Wanna Do Is Play Cards - Corb Lund

“Well, I guess I really oughta be makin up songs but all I wanna do is play cards. I know it's dumb and sick and wrong but all I wanna do is play cards. Got the studio booked in Tennessee, and my record producer's callin me, the tape will roll in just three weeks and all I wanna do is play cards.” Does it sound familiar? It’s a 2005 hit by Corb Lund called All I Wanna Do Is Play Cards, once you hear it you’ll be playing it on repeat.

34. Gambling Man - The Overtones

When you’re falling in love, it’s perfectly normal to feel like you want to gamble everything just to attract that person’s attention to notice you and love you back. Well, Gambling Man is a lively 2010 song that tells a story of a guy fascinated with his love, so he places all his bets on her, as the song goes - “I played my hand, I rolled the dice, now I'm paying for my sins, I got some bad addiction.” This time, he feels that this love affair is different from any other – “Baby, it's you, yeah, yeah, that's right.” The song was released in 2010 and has been popular ever since.

33. Poker Face - Lady Gaga

Although the Poker Face song is more about the game of romance rather than the game of poker, the catchy refrain that starts with “Can't read my, no he can't read my poker face” kinda reminds us of winning at the tables, so we couldn’t skip it this time. Released in 2008, the song achieved worldwide success, topping the charts in the USA, the UK, Australia, Canada and several European countries.

32. Little Queen of Spades - Robert Johnson

Moving on to the Little Queen of Spades, a song title by the American blues musician Robert Johnson who recorded the song in 1937 and first released it in 1938. The first version of this gambling-themed song has a playing time of 2:11, whereas the second one lasts 4s longer (2:15), and is considered an alternate take and first appeared on Johnson's album The Complete Recordings, in 1990.

31. Train of Consequences - Megadeth

Another great song Train of Consequences is the title created by Megadeth, released as the first single from their sixth studio album Youthanasia in 1994. The song was later included on their compilation albums and its music video was the 26th most played video on MTV. There’s this part of the song “No horse ever ran as fast as the money that you bet, I'm blowing on my cards and I play them to my chest” – which is about a person’s gambling problem, who realises something’s wrong with this lifestyle, but it still hunts him down. Could be just the thrill, but he just can’t stop playing.
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30. Gambler - Whitesnake

Released on the album Slide It In (1984) and appearing on the compilation album Gold (2006), Gambler is the song by the British hard rock band Whitesnake. These words may sound familiar - “No fame or fortune, no luck of the draw, when I dance with the Queen of Hearts, a jack of all trades, a loser in love, it's tearing my soul apart”. And in case you’ve never heard it, we think you should give it a shot, the chances are you’re going to love it!

29. Gambling Man - Woody Guthrie

Now here’s one single from 1957 - Gamblin' Man. The song was taped live at the London Palladium and published as a double A side, with Puttin' On the Style. Reaching #1 in the UK Singles Chart in the summer 1957, it was “the last UK number 1 to be released on 78 rpm format only, as 7' vinyl had become the norm by this time.” Written by Woody Guthrie and Donegan, this gambling themed song was produced by Alan Freeman and Michael Barclay.

28. Roll of the Dice - Bruce Springsteen

According to Songfacts, Roll of the Dice was the first Springsteen’s song he didn’t write by himself. In fact, E Street Band’s pianist Roy Bittan helped with the music, while Springsteen was in charge of the lyrics, starting with – “Well I've been a losin' gambler, just throwin' snake eyes, Love ain't got me downhearted. I know up around the corner lies, My fool's paradise in just another roll of the dice.” After he broke up the E Street Band in October 1989, Springsteen wrote lyrics for the Roll of the Dice (with two other songs) and liked them to the point where he began writing and recording more songs.

27. Queen of Diamonds - Tom Odell

Here’s one song about a gambling fanatic who’s trying to satisfy his own addiction but also someone else, hoping it’s going to save him. Released in 2018, Queen of Diamonds is Tom Odell’s song from the album Jubilee Road, based on the local characters that inspired this British songwriter to include the whisky-soaked gamblers who regularly visited one betting shop.

26. The Angel and the Gambler - Iron Maiden

Now, this song may divide Iron Maiden fans and it’s most probably because of its repetitive lyrics that can be a bit annoying. The release we’re talking about is The Angel and the Gambler. Truth be told, the melody in general is very catchy and, even a bit similar to The Who in some moments. As the song was released in 1998 while Blaze Bayley was its frontmen, it’s missing the well-known high-pitch vocals from Bruce Dickinson.

25. Ramblin' Gamblin Man - Bob Seger

We’re moving on to a rock single from 1978 - Ramblin' Gamblin Man by Bob Seger. The author meets an old acquaintance, a professional gambler who happens to be a swagger. As such, he attracts people’s attention whenever he bets. Putting so much of his faith in the cards (rather than in people), he walks away every time, just before avoiding loss. Along the way, the narrator realises that, if you scratch beneath the surface, you’ll find he’s a very cynical man, who will never change.
Another gambling-themed song worth mentioning by Bob Seger is Still The Same.

24. Blow Up The Pokies - The Whitlams

Blow up the Pokies is the next song on our list, played by The Whitlams. It is the second single by the group from their 4th studio album, Love This City. Released in the year 2000, the song became a hit and made it to number 21 on the ARIA Singles Chart. According to several resources, the lyrics written by singer Tim Freedman were inspired by the destruction he saw in original Whitlams bassist Andy Lewis's life, due to his gambling addiction.

23. A Good Run of Bad Luck - Clint Black

Now here’s one 1994-song packed with gambling-related terms. As you listen to A Good Run of Bad Luck, recorded by American music artist Clint Black, you'll have a bit of fun as you try identifying what all these gambling terms mean. The song is a bit fast and is about falling in love by using gambling metaphors. The main character is willing to spend a lot of money to win his special lady over and, although he has had a period of bad luck, he is not giving up – “I've been to the table, and I've lost it all before, I'm willin' and able, always comin' back for more.”

22. When You’re Hot, You’re Hot - Jerry Reed

Jerry Reed won a Grammy for the song When You’re Hot, You’re Hot which was released in 1971. Most people remember it as it was a major hit, ranked as number 1 in the country charts, also making its way up the Pop Top 40. It’s an enjoyable novelty song about the ups and downs of the gambling life, about one’s winning streak caught in an illegal game of Crap.
Country star Jerry Reed also came up with a version The Uptown Poker Club in 1973.

21. Lawyers, Guns and Money - Warren Zevon

Next one up - Lawyers, Guns and Money is a song by Warren Zevon, the closing track on his album Excitable Boy, released in 1978. An edited version of this song was distributed as a single and found itself on the A Quiet Normal Life best of compilation on the CD and LP. The song goes like this - “I went home with a waitress the way I always do, how was I to know she was with the russians, too? I was gambling in Havana, I took a little risk Send lawyers, guns, and money Dad, get me out of this, hiyah!”
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20. The Lottery Song - Harry Nilsson

According to the man in the 1972 pop-rock song The Lottery Song by Harry Nilsson, there's more than one way to get to Vegas. Addressing his lover, the narrator mentions a few different options for buying a ticket and going to Sin City – “We could win the lottery we could go to Vegas,” and “We could wait till summer, we could save our money” as well as “We could make a record, sell a lot of copies, we could play Las Vegas.”

19. Casino Queen - Wilco

Now here’s one black-humoured gambling-themed song, released in 1995 and titled after a casino. Featuring a dirty electric guitar, Casino Queen was composed by an American songwriter, Jeff Tweedy, who wrote this song after playing a game in a riverboat casino accompanied by his dad. Inspired by the event, the author wrote: “Casino Queen my lord you're mean, I've been gambling like a fiend on your tables so green.”

18. Have a Lucky Day - Morphine

Another song on our list that you simply must check out starts like this: “I feel lucky, I just feel that way, I'm on a bus to Atlantic City later on today. Now I'm sitting at a blackjack table and swear to God the dealer has a tag says, "Mabel." Hit me, hit me! I smile at Mabel, soon they're bringing complimentary drinks to the table.” Check it out yourself - it’s called Have a Lucky Day by Morphine.

17. Kentucky Gambler - Merle Haggard

Written by Dolly Parton and released in 1974, Merle Haggard’s Kentucky Gambler is another song on our ultimate gambling playlist that you should pay attention to. It’s about a miner from Kentucky who leaves his family to gamble, under the bright lights of Reno. Unsurprisingly, his winning streak comes to an end, and he loses all his winnings. All broke, he decided to return back home only when he arrived, he found out his wife was involved with someone else.

16. The Jack - AC/DC

The next song on our list will give you some adrenaline boost, for sure. It goes like this - “She gave me the queen, she gave me the king, she was wheelin' and dealin', just doin' her thing, she was holdin' a pair, but I had to try…” Sounds familiar? This song from the 1975s is called The Jack and is played by AC/DC and there’s no way you can skip it.

15. Blackjack - Ray Charles

Moving on to something a bit different - a melody that blackjack lovers can listen to as they play is Ray Charles’ Blackjack. Apart from being a good quality song from 1955, it carries an important message with an emphasis on how brutal the game of blackjack can be. Some sources say that Ray Charles wrote it after beating T-Bone Walker at a blackjack game session.
Yet another Ray Charles’ famous song about gambling is called a Losing Hand.

14. Ooh Las Vegas - Gram Parson

“Ooh, Las Vegas, ain't no place for a poor boy like me”... is a song-into for Ooh Las Vegas which was written by Gram Parsons and Ric Grech. It was first released by Gram Parsons with Emmylou Harris in 1974. Playing this song would be perfect for the beginning of the road trip (i.e. to Las Vegas), especially if you have the energy to sing along.

13. The Stranger - Leonard Cohen

Published in 1968 and performed by Leonard Cohen, The Stranger appears in the The Ernie Game movie about a man released from a mental asylum. More appropriately, it is the perfect opening song in the 1971 Western McCabe & Mrs Miller, in which Warren Beatty plays a gambler. As you listen to this song (without watching the movie), it makes you see fascinating images of card games, smoky dreams, and concepts of risk versus safety.

12. Desperado - Eagles

Written by Glen Frey and Don Henley, Desperado song is one of The Eagles’ greatest hits from their 1973 album of the same name. The song features a classic tune while the ballad tells the story of a lone wolf imprisoned by his loneliness. As for the lyrics, they have loads of card references mentioning the queen of diamonds, the queen of hearts, and so on.

11. Huck's Tune - Bob Dylan

The next song on our list is about the risks of poker, money, and relationships, which are precisely what the movie Lucky You is all about. Does it ring a bell? That’s right, this 2007 song is called Huck’s Tune and is performed by Bob Dylan. Each of us can all relate to lines "You push it all in, and you've no chance to win, you play 'em on down to the end." Play the song and you’ll enjoy more than 4 amazing minutes of Bob Dylan.
Likewise, Bob Dylan recorded Rambling, Gambling Willie and Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts, both excellent and both inspired by gambling.
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10. Four Little Diamonds - Electric Light Orchestra

A song by the British rock band Electric Light Orchestra Four Little Diamonds was released in 1983 and found itself on the album Secret Messages. The single wasn’t so popular in the US, being only 2 weeks on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, at number 86, and number 84 in the UK. This song refers to the singer’s cheating lover who tricked him out of a ring which had 'four little diamonds' on it.

9. You Can't Beat The House - Mark Knopfler

Moving on to our next choice for the day, You Can’t Beat the House. It’s the third song on the Get Lucky studio album released in 2009 by British singer-songwriter and guitarist Mark Knopfler. The album and the songs received favorable reviews with the album reaching the top three positions on album charts in Denmark, Germany, Italy, the Netherlands, Norway, and Poland. The singer’s divine voice combined with beautiful music and lyrics goes like this – “You can't bear the house, you can't bear the house, tell the man somebody, you can't beat the house.”

8. Deck of Cards - Don Williams

Deck of Cards is a recitation song that tells the story of a soldier who gets caught while playing cards in church and then faces a sentence from a superior officer. The soldier defends his case, explaining he wasn't about to deal a hand of poker, but was rather confirming his faith with the cards. Performed by T. Texas Tyler, the song managed to become a major hit in the 1940s and 1950s. Also, Wink Martindale had an even bigger hit with his 1959 cover, with a successful version by Don Williams featuring Tex Ritter and Buddy Cole.

7. Gambler’s Blues - B.B. King

First recording of the song Gambler’s Blues by B.B. King was in 1966, and it was released in 1967. The song appears on the album Back in the Alley (1970). Some say gambling and blues go hand in hand, so if you (gambling fans) haven’t heard it, listen and see for yourself.

6. Tumbling Dice - Rolling Stones

One of our favourite songs on the list is Tumbling Dice, written by Mick Jagger and Keith Richards. It tells the story of a gambler who can’t remain faithful to any woman. Being released in the 1970s and featuring a blues boogie-woogie rhythm, the song was and still is one of the greatest singles of all time.
Rolling Stones also recorded Casino Boogie, and it’s from their 1972 album, Exile on Main St.

5. Luck Be A Lady - Frank Sinatra

The next song on our list is about a gambler who hopes that he will win a bet, the outcome of which will decide whether he is able to save his relationship with the girl of his dreams. You probably know what song we’re talking about; it’s called Luck be a Lady released in 1965 and performed by one of the most popular musical artists - Frank Sinatra.

4. Deal - Grateful Dead

Next one up is the song Deal. It was first performed by the Grateful Dead in 1971, as a regular part of the repertoire through their 1970's tour. Although being less common to the fans during the 1990s, the band continued to perform it. The singer opens with the message: “Since it cost a lot to win and even more to lose you and me bound to spend some time wondering what to choose,” that later kicks off with a chorus: “Don't let your deal go down...”
Loser is another song first performed by the Grateful Dead in 1971 as well, heavily played during 1971 and 1972.

3. Ace of Spades - Motörhead

Ok, the next song is loaded with some great gambling verses like "The pleasure is to play, makes no difference what you say, I don't share your greed, the only card I need is the Ace of Spades" will definitely set you in the right mood for hitting some winning combinations. Released in 1980, the song was inspired by slot machines that the lead singer Ian Fraser “Lemmy” Kilmister played in London pubs.

2. Viva Las Vegas - Elvis

As soon as you start playing the second song from our playlist “Viva Las Vegas,” you’ll probably picture a huge casino and a great gaming atmosphere. Performed by the legendary Elvis Presley, the 1964-released song brings the glamour of the city, and its beat will get you in the mood for some serious gameplay. This song was written for the movie of the same name starring Elvis Presley, in which he plays a race car driver waiting tables at a hotel to pay off a debt. There’s this famous scene when he performs this song at the talent competition alongside many showgirls.

1. The Gambler - Kenny Rogers

Performed by the legendary country singer Kenny Rogers, The Gambler song is our number 1 - it's full of some betting advice that are relevant today, even though it was released more than 40 years ago, in 1978. Here’s how it goes… “If you're gonna play the game, boy you gotta learn to play it right, you've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run.” These classic chorus lines were told from the first-person perspective inspired by a conversation the author had with an experienced poker player on a train. Written in the form of poker metaphors, Schlitz wrote the tune in honor of his late father.
Johnny Cash is also among other musicians who recorded The Gambler in 1978, on Gone Girl.

What do you think? Which one is your favourite?

The virus is still infuriatingly neither fish nor fowl. If it were a bit more deadly, then governments could just have a strict global lockdown (similar to Wuhan's) for 3-4 months and that would probably be the end of it. The rest could be mopped up with contact tracing.
Since the case death rate is about 6 times more deadly than seasonal 'flu (at least in the US), it's too serious to ignore entirely but just not serious enough to make the case for Liberals and Neoliberals to throw Capitalism under the bus long enough to eradicate the virus through quarantine (something that's feasible, if there was enough political will).
To understand what governments are doing, it's best to remember that what concerns them most is not what's happened, or what's happening at the moment, but rather what could happen in the future. For example, just because most of the deaths in Britain are people with prior conditions, that doesn't mean it will stay that way. Governments are doing a balancing act that involves juggling the economy, the rate of spread, social unrest and the potential for the virus to mutate into a Frankenvirus.
They are trying to navigate in the fog, because different regions calculate their numbers inconsistently. Places like Yemen report a terrifying case fatality rate of 28.9%. But countries like Switzerland, with better healthcare, report as low as 4%. The US fatality rate is around 2.9% and the UK about 10.3%.
Here are a few tips for keeping your head while all around you are losing theirs (and blaming it on you).
Ignore the instrument panel.
Like any good pilot, when you know your instruments are being erratic and unreliable, you can save time and pressure by just ignoring them and going on your last "good fix" and use dead reckoning. Watching graphs, trend lines and milestones is a fool's game. The last good information we had was back in about February. The case fatality rate is probably around 6% with a very high infection rate. Barring a mutation into a Frankenvirus, the pandemic will not disappear, but it will eventually blend into the background rather like HIV/AIDS has done.
My back-of-an-envelope prediction from February hasn't changed much. The pandemic should last 2-3 years and direct fatalities should be about 100 million globally. That's about 6 million dead in the US. So we've barely even got started. After that it won't be totally gone, it will just become endemic and blend into the background (i.e. just become another seasonal flu).
Ignore the politics.
Although shadow politicians criticise their opponents and say "it didn't have to be this way," the truth is they have (or reflect) an inflated sense of their own importance. The virus is in charge and it isn't going to stop until it's claimed about 5% of the world's population. Even PPE and "testing" can only slow down the rate of spread - they can't affect the eventual outcome!
Politicians have only one means to "defeat" the virus, and that's to address its causes. It's caused because world population densities are too high (the urban populations have got too big, too quickly, particularly in South Asia). Travel, infrastructure and logistics are too close-coupled and their velocity is too intense. We need to depopulate, decouple and slow down.
The only lever politicians really have is massive, strict quarantines and a near-complete cessation of the global economy. So far, only Xi Jinping has the power and authority to pull that lever (and only in a local region).
Other than that politicians can only provide palliatives like adequate healthcare, financial relief and "flattening the curve" to reduce the rate of hospital admissions etc.
We are probably approaching a period of global emotional roller-coasters.
The collateral damage from the pandemic will be greater than the direct toll. The rat race was already at breaking point before the pandemic hit, so this is more like a last straw than a blow against a healthy body politik. Cascading effects will mainly be economic, but there will be a high toll in despair, addiction and suicide. Crime and punishment is about to escalate.
If history is a guide, we are about to enter a period of extremely irrational behavior. People will become reckless, feckless, fractious and cavalier. Defeat, apathy and a danse macabre where people throw all caution to the wind is already in evidence.
Keep your head, be philosophical about it and surrender to resignation rather than despair. "Thy will be done" is more conducive to survival than the more common, "I don't give a fuck anymore."
This is a perfect time for "spiritual development" (retch!).
Don't expect the cavalry to swoop in.
Treatments will get better, but a vaccine is a pipe dream. Not only because immunity is likely to be no more than about 2-3 months, but because the public has lost trust in authority and most people will refuse a shot. The logistics of achieving herd immunity by vaccination is unfeasible (think: approx. 60-70% of the world getting shots every 4 months for a year). And then the virus will mutate.
Now is the winter of our discontent.
Winter promises to be tough. Vitamin D seems to help resistance (and I'm sure summer ozone must too), so with less outdoor-time, cases will probably spike. Brace yourself. We are still only in the first wave. Just because politicians did a halfhearted lockdown and then lifted it doesn't make their negligence the next wave! The virus decides on the waves, and it's still limbering up with the first wave.
What governments should be doing.
If you think in terms of a payoff matrix, governments should stop everyone from taking precautions (even those most at risk) and let the virus run its course as soon as possible. All flights and shipping should be cancelled and all overseas food shipments halted (because the virus is obviously circulating in industrial food products, though they are trying to keep that secret). Gas should be limited to almost zero at the pump. Then there would be no need to even have a lockdown (since movement would be impossible, and local fragmentation into natural immunity islands would defeat the spread).
Such a minimax outcome would be optimal in terms of risk and total utility (it would cause the least harm overall, but with the most pain in the short run). Ripping the Band-Aid fast is usually the best way. But it's far too much like Thanos for politicians to do (although Sweden came close). Therefore, like the psychopaths they are, they will gamble in the short term while hoping for a different outcome. But the odds are they will cause more suffering and damage in the long run by being too soft. And we'll let them do it because we are too weak.
Which is roughly the same situation in microcosm of our unfolding ecological catastrophe and climate crisis on a macro scale. We need a Thanos-like emergency deindustrialization (which is really what a pandemic lockdown really is). But we won't do that because we are too "nice". So we'd rather all just go extinct.
And that, children, is the gentle nudge that Comrade C is trying to give us. But we are refusing to listen because we have no backbone. So prepare the sackcloth and begin the gnashing of teeth and wailing in despair, because we are not dry-cheeked Spartans (we're cat food, actually).

The Verge (positive, no grade)
"What we call prestige television is often a function of marketing. Prestige shows — the kind of stuff you see on HBO and sweeping the Emmys — involves a lot of putting on airs, signaling an intent to be literary or ambitious. You does no such thing. It is every inch the Lifetime show it began as, and just as wickedly sharp or thoughtful as another show with loftier goals. This makes You feel dangerous. Like it shouldn’t work so well. And then, when you start to think about why it does — well then, the show has you."
Entertainment Weekly (Grade B)
"With two more books in the YOU series on the way, Netflix is unlikely to wrap up Joe’s story with season two. The finale delivers a twist that lands somewhere between clever and too clever by half, and it sets up another season in its final moments."
IndieWire (Grade A-)
"You Season 2 proves Season 1 wasn’t lightning in a bottle, though it’s questionable if Sera Gamble and company should attempt to press their luck with a Season 3."
The Hollywood Reporter (positive, no grade)
"While the writers sometimes trip over their endless layers of irony (how many times can a guy fall in love with a stupidly named woman?), You remains as captivating as ever.
Vulture (positive, no grade)
"For all its ecstatic turns and arch, sometimes operatic nature, You is ultimately an unnerving, complicated portrait of male violence — how it begins, whom it targets, and how its effects ripple outward."
Metro UK (positive, no grade)
"You Season 2 is more than enough to quench your thirst for twisted-in-a-sexy-way killers and keep you hooked for a serious binge session."
Vanity Fair (positive, no grade)
"You is committed to keeping the audience guessing, and as with the first season, much of the story is a chain of wild twists."
Variety (mixed, no grade)
"By the time this new season ends, setting up a third mad pursuit of a woman to seduce and destroy, viewers could be forgiven for feeling a bit tired of being addressed by an ever-less-charming killer, one who’s become tiresome company."
Uproxx (positive, no grade)
"No main character goes unscathed, and the show even skewers its own audience, who will probably dig the experience and beg for more."
The Independent (positive, no grade)
"Rivetingly told and well acted, YOU manages to make a viscerally unlikable protagonist endlessly interesting. That is no small achievement."
The New York Times (positive, no grade)
"What keeps us watching is Badgley’s delicate balancing act as Joe, synthesizing charm and bug-eyed creepiness and alarm while carrying much of the comic burden in the slightly stiff but yearning tone of his Harlequin-novel narration. It’s a performance that’s all on the surface. (The show’s conceit depends on Joe’s self-delusion, and the attempts to give him some emotional depth this season actually dull down the story.) But Badgley is impressively consistent, controlled and resourceful — he nearly always finds a way to make us smile."
The Daily Dot (positive, 4/5)
"Without spoiling too much, You does set the story up for another season. It’s likely that the show will continue on Netflix, especially if it matches or beats last year’s viewership numbers. And while there’s little mystery left to Joe and the situation he gets himself into, the show has proven that it’s a hit no matter where Joe is living."
Heroic Hollywood (positive, 7.5/10)
"Penn Badgley’s You is a creepy delight as the stalker tangles with new enemies that turn the tables on him alongside a ticking clock that forces him to debate leaving everything he’s built so far."
Time (positive, no grade)
"Equal parts smart, silly and scary, You remains an offbeat, uniquely contemporary pleasure on the whole. And what’s funny about season 2—with its slightly older, less social-media-obsessed cast of characters and its many timeless caricatures of L.A. self-involvement and self-reinvention—is that ends up feeling less specific to the teen and 20-something audience that discovered their ideal show in its predecessor. The Christmas-break crowd may already be counting down the hours until the new episodes drop, but that shouldn’t stop anyone else from catching up in time to tear into this belated holiday gift."
The Washington Post (mixed, no grade)
"The new season is a lukewarm extension of the first — redundant and not as engrossing as it used to be. Penn Badgley returns as Joe, the stalker-murderer bookstore manager with sad eyes and a ceaselessly cynical interior monologue. Is he adorable or creepy? Is he handsome or heinous? Are his impulses merely a reflection of the cruelty of those around him? Is he the man of your dreams or the guy who uses a meat-grinder to get rid of his latest victim? Can he be all of these? That’s how You wants it."
The Spinoff (positive, no grade)
"Honestly, You makes turning out a good show look as easy as moving through society as a charming white man who does bad things. Because it turns out, all you need to make a show that people want to keep watching is a great premise that can survive more or less any twist you throw at it, a strong lead performance that only gets better as time goes on, and being twice as fun as it is deep."
CNN (positive, no grade)
"In that sense, the series serves as a highly binge-able, very modern thriller, if not, hopefully, what anyone will view as a template for modern romance."
Mashable (positive, no grade)
"Without spoiling some juicy twists, You Season 2 does not retread old territory. It pulls the rug out from what could have been a formulaic, almost procedural show, keeping us tense and guessing right until the final moments. Joe might think this is a love story, but we know better, and we're making it to the end — even if no other character does."
Awards Circuit (positive, no grade)
"Too many shows fall victim to a sophomore slump. Especially when the first season starts out so strong, it’s hard to keep up the momentum and give the audiences more of what they want without rehashing the things that made it successful in the first place. You manages to bring together the things that made season one work, and then make it even better and more addictive. This is a series that was made to be binged. And, best of all, just when we think we know where it’s going, there is a new twist or a turn that makes it impossible to stop watching. This is entertainment in its purest form, and we already can’t wait for more."
Collider (positive, 3/5)
"You remains compulsive viewing thanks to its seductive thrills and wry dark humor, but it remains must-watch TV for its wise vivisection of the so-called “nice guy,” the toxic allure of the “bad boy,” and the terrifyingly-familiar meeting point between the two where the fantasies become a nightmare."
IGN (positive, 8.7/10)
"You continues to shock and delight in its bonkers second season, which is even more entertaining than the first."
New Musical Express (positive, 4/5)
"For the most part, though, You doesn’t lose any of its initial impact on its return. Once season two hits its stride, it’s just as gripping as its predecessor, manoeuvring through a torrent of twists that keep you on your toes and, by its end, will leave you completely shocked."

Videogames hold a very dear place in my heart. They allow me a reprieve from the daily problems of my life. They give me a space to share with friends I wouldn’t have otherwise. Every so often, a videogame will say something that touches me deeply. I’ve cried at least a couple times at the end of Metal Gear Solid 4. Maybe your experience with videogames is not quite the same, but I bet what I say rings somewhat true for anyone who’s picked up the hobby.
I’d argue that, as a piece of media, they’re works of art. They connect us and allow us to express ourselves. I’ve met some very special people to me, just by playing games online. And I’ve been able to play with them, in sandboxes and zombie infested lands and truly bonded over the time we’ve shared.
But games are also the product of hard work. They still are a piece of media to be distributed. At the end of the day, a game must be sold to keep the lights on: there’s developers to be paid, assets to be invested in, and stakeholders to answer to. So game companies adopt DRM policies, to thwart piracy and defend their product. They research new ways to reach broader audiences, and to hold their attention over the competition.
But I fear that, throughout the years, we’ve gotten it twisted. Game companies don’t talk in terms of “fun” but engagement nowadays. They don’t even call games as such anymore: platforms, live services – games as a service. But a service to who? I brought this question to a buddy who goes by the nickname EndlesNights, he replied with this:
​
“It's clear they only care about their bottom lines… For instance, how can we be in a time with simultaneously both record setting high profits and yet people are being let go from these corporations?”
“You can go into further details about the negative implications and implementations of always online DRM. For instance on launch day & during big events, the severs are almost always overstrained which prevents everyone from accessing the server. It creates an arbitrary expiry date for the game, where the severs will no longer be cost effective to maintain and no one will be able to launch the game anymore. It provides no benefits to the end users, and the general ficklety of the services has only turned potential customers away to acquire pirated & cracked copies.”
​
A lot of these AAA companies CEOs don’t really care for the games they make. To them, it’s just another product. Bobby Kotick is infamous for many things. Among these, one that has stuck to the back of my mind was his belief that videogames should be sold like detergent. Back in 2005 he hired a couple of Proctor & Gambler ex-employees for his publishing division. When interviewed, this was his reply:
​
"Processes that have worked well in packaged goods industry -- bringing goods to market, the process of market research and internalizing the business -- have all added the most value to our company…"Source: https://www.marketwatch.com/story/activision-adds-publishing-execs-with-pg-experience
​
Fast-forward a bit: it’s 2009, and Activison just merged with Blizzard. A bunch of their IPs were dropped, and amongst these was Brutal Legend, which seemed like it would never be published under Activision. So Double Fine negotiated with EA, who would end up publishing the game. So, of course, Activison sues EA trying to block the release of the game.Source: https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2009-jun-05-fi-ct-lawsuit5-story.html
This is what Tim Schafer (Founder of Double Fine Productions) had to say regarding Mr. Kotick, after Double Fine got sued by Activision over the release of Brutal Legend by EA, back in 2010:
​
"His obligation is to his shareholders… Well, he doesn't have to be as much of a dick about it, does he? I think there is a way he can do it without being a total prick… He [Kotick] makes a big deal about not liking games, and I just don't think that attitude is good for games in general. I just don't think we're an industry of widgets...”
"We can approach it like we approach bars of soap, where you're just trying to make the cheapest bar of soap. He definitely has that that kind of widget-maker attitude. I don't think he's great for the industry, overall. You can't just latch onto something when it's popular and then squeeze the life out of it and then move on to the next one. You have to at some point create something, build something… Hopefully he'll go back to another industry soon.”Source: https://www.eurogamer.net/articles/schafer-calls-bobby-kotick-a-total-prick
​
The lawsuit was settled outside of court, btw. But the judge said he was “… strongly inclined to rule against Activision’s motion to stop the game’s release.” You draw your own conclusions.Source: https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2009-aug-07-fi-activision7-story.html
So, it’s pretty clear that, at least for Activision’s CEO, games don’t hold value beyond the revenue they can bring into the company. The outcome? After the success of CoD 4, Modern Warfare, CoD became a franchise that released games yearly. The games weren’t that different from each other, and each came with it’s own new monetization scheme: microtransactions, map-packs, lootboxes, etc. This is bad. And what’s worse, the quality of the games isn’t always up to par. It can’t be, if you’re expected to pump out a product year after year, using a cookie cutter formula. And CoD isn’t the worst example of this kind of thing, it’s just the most popular and polished.
The lead up question is, are we getting the short end of the stick as consumers? And I’m hoping to build a solid case of proof and evidence to say “Yes, we are!” This attitude is not localized to Activision, but widespread across the industry. It’s not the exception, is the rule. And, somehow throughout the years, we’ve just accepted this as the way things are.
I feel that we, as gamers, make tons of excuses for game companies when they mess up in the pursuit of money, out of misplaced loyalty. Because the games they put out mean more to us than just entertainment. But AAA game companies abuse our demand for games. They wring us for all our worth with a smile and then heckle us in subtle, and not so subtle ways (Yes, I have a phone Blizzard, your game is still a free PoS for the Chinese market.)
So, the real question is, what can we do about it?
All we can do is try to rally together and vote with our wallets: the only language they understand.
I'm here to tell you the current state of the market isn't fine. We’ve gotten to this point, not because games started out as 60 dollar products with a real cost of upwards 100 dollars and spendings on the side - we let it get to this point. I’m here to put forward the motion that, sometimes, we just have to let games we love die and move on. Another one will come to take it's place. It won't be the same, but it always does anyways. It is something regrettable, but when game companies predate on consumers this hard.
Below, I’ve put together a list of companies I'm personally boycotting, along with videos and articles that back up the reasons I have for this boycott. IDK if anyone will care to go through this, I certainly hope at least one other person takes me seriously and at least reads through it, just to be informed. That’s all I can ask for.

EA

1. Lays off 350 people, while hiring a new CEO and giving him multimillion dollar bonus
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RZ1zfEe0W8
   2. Article: https://www.businessinsider.com/electronic-arts-laying-off-350-employees-2019-3
2. FIFA 2020 was basically a copy paste of FIFA 2019 with no Quality Assurance. This is the best example of what yearly franchises actually are. You can tell here since it's unpolished: they just forces gamers to reset their progress to 0 and spend more money trying to play catch up with their last year's progress, all the while including very minor updates to the game itself.
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9duLp9PZtWM
   2. Article: https://www.imore.com/why-you-shouldnt-buy-fifa-20-nintendo-switch
3. List of dead studios at the hands of EA (They ran the companies and their IPs to the ground)
   1. Maxis Studios
   2. Westwood Studios
   3. Visceral Games
   4. Many more (List)... https://heavy.com/games/2017/10/studios-ea-has-killed-visceral-games/
4. They introduced microtransactions into a single player game, allowing you to prepurchase this, along with some day 1 dlc. Maybe it's to be expected now, and they’d done it before with Mass Effect 3 (And Ubisoft did it with Assassin’s Creed), but they did it with reckless abandon.
5. Dead Space 3 will have microtransactions, to massive public uproar:
   1. Video: https://youtu.be/6Myy5Khm12A?t=161
   2. Article: https://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2013-01-22-dead-space-3-includes-micro-transactions-for-buying-better-weapons
6. Oh and then they used that as a platform to shove microtransactions into EVERY GAME
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra113_O9R4E
7. Always online DRM for a Single Player game! (Simcity 2013) This was one of the building blocks for games as a service, as this form of DRM is widely tolerated nowadays. They argued it was needed back then. They wouldn’t really say why.
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maU7vPrNRDI
   2. Article: https://kotaku.com/simcity-is-online-only-but-it-promises-not-to-repeat-d-5915377
8. Then they backed down on that once it flopped, because they couldn’t sustain it:
   1. Article: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/01/13/simcity_offline_turnaround/
9. Did I talk about the Sims online and how they only care about PR? Here's a BOOK on MMOs (just read the abstract), Second Life, and how messed up Sims online was: they never policed it, banned users if they gave them negative PR, not if they were hacking scumbags.
   1. Book: https://mitpress.mit.edu/books/second-life-herald
10. How can we forget Battlefront 2 lootboxes, gating characters and skills behind "randomized", definitely overpriced, booster packs.
    1. Lootboxes, a rundown of the issue Article: https://mashable.com/2017/11/13/star-wars-battlefront-2-loot-box-controversy/
    2. Lootboxes get noticed (Yongyea): Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ndi8D2eRu4
    3. Lootboxes get noticed (Jim Sterling) Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUfkGSbabSo
    4. EA's reply Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qfo1Bv91ws
    5. The turning point (Belgium defines lootboxes as gambling): Video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28K6GkkaTik
    6. Some dood flexing his lootboxes online. This is what it all amounts to Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bj9xrUolKb4
11. NEVER FORGET FIFA LOOTBOXES AND HOW EA REFUSES TO TAKE RESPONSIBLITY
    1. Kid empties parent's bank account trying to get a FIFA player card Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHy7XueW6dc
    2. Article: https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/football/9475199/kids-parents-bank-messi-fifa-19/
    3. The addictive cost of Predatory Videogame Monetization (The Jimquisition) Video: https://youtu.be/7S-DGTBZU14
    4. Full UK parliament hearing Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPkyERMbKU8

Bioware

1. Bioware devs getting overworked to the point of breaking down (Stress Casualities!). This came out in an article by Kotaku’s Jason Schreier about Anthem.
   1. Bioware working staff to tears and calling it "Magic" Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GN1uV57hE_w
   2. What went wrong with anthem? (Story by Kotaku's Jason Schreier) Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYDJNf4LyBsArticle: https://kotaku.com/how-biowares-anthem-went-wrong-1833731964
2. Mass Effect Andromeda was a rushed piece of crap, just riding the popularity of Mass Effect 3
   1. Mass Effect Andromeda Troubled development history Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYDJNf4LyBs
3. Bug makes Anthem more FUN. Bioware fixes regardless of playerbase's protests
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYDJNf4LyBs
   2. Article: https://www.polygon.com/2019/3/11/18260057/anthem-loot-update-bug-boycott

Activision-Blizzard

1. Record revenue of the quarter after massive layoffs (770 people)
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmK43DV_wVY
   2. Article: https://kotaku.com/activision-blizzard-begins-massive-layoffs-1832571288
2. Made Diablo 3 online only, added auction house while reducing drop rates to non-existence. On a loot-based dungeon crawler. They didn't even prepare for the amount of players who wanted to play their game at launch! They also backpedalled the AH by the expansion, upping the drop rates, prohibiting trading "because it's not in the spirit" (BTW they just wanted to stop players selling items on the side), but THE PROFIT by then. And we praised 'em for "fixing” the game after years. Ugh.
   1. Error 37, couldn't login at launch: A light read: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/error-37
   2. Article about Action house: https://blog.hoard.exchange/diablo-iiis-failed-auction-house-why-true-ownership-won-t-save-your-game-c6d692b9de1
3. Bans player for freedom of speech. Players are on uproar. Congress gets in on the action. Blizzard backpedals publicly with the most NOTHING apology I've ever seen. Player (Blitzchung) is still banned.
   1. Article Talking about issue and the ensued apology: https://www.businessinsider.com/blizzard-apology-blizzcon-blitzchung-hong-kong-china-2019-11
   2. Video explaining issue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdCNGszoP0U
   3. Blizzard CEO emits “nothing” apology at Blizzcon, play by play Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-T2_PU8rHtk
   4. Break down, of nothing apology, if you had doubts:Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDAcrhfQDqI
4. COD opening lootboxes in front of other players gives watcher rewards to pressure them into buying lootboxes
   1. Short 1-minute video showing this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Nra1UG4_1c
   2. Video explaining (By Yongyea): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkkpHVjVyFQ
5. COD Modern Warfare Remastered did not include map-pack, then resold as dlc at a HIGHER price than the original game
   1. Article: https://kotaku.com/for-some-reason-modern-warfare-remastereds-map-pack-is-1794563753
   2. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gY9vBu0z8NQNotice how the guy, almost by reflex, makes a disclaimer to defend his PoV after pointing out this clearly predatory practice (which it is, if you think of what a remaster should be and the actual cost in production compared to the OG release, but I digress). This is what we do to each other by defending the companies. We attack each other to see who’s right and wrong, instead of just letting people voice their opinion freely (likewise you could voice support in the company’s social media “keep doing you” and the such, but it takes all kinds. Again, I digress).
6. COD Black Ops 4 sneaks lootboxes into the game
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJYjvFsF-U8
   2. Article: https://www.destructoid.com/loot-boxes-sneak-into-call-of-duty-black-ops-4-under-a-new-name-543584.phtml

EPIC Games

1. Cornering the Market via Exclusivity Deals, instead of making a good storefront. Here's some games that signed an exclusivity deal with EPIC Games:
   1. Metro Exodus
   2. Borderlands 3
   3. Outer Worlds
   4. Detroit: Become Human
   5. Many more! Full List: https://www.gamewatcher.com/news/Epic-games-store-exclusives
2. Spyware, stealing your Steam Data
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8xi69sBbwo
   2. Apologist Article (So you can read both Sides): https://www.usgamer.net/articles/the-epic-games-store-is-spyware-how-a-toxic-accusation-was-started-by-anti-chinese-sentiment
   3. Reddit Thread that fired the controversy: https://www.reddit.com/PhoenixPoint/comments/b0rxdq/epic_game_store_spyware_tracking_and_you/
3. Introduced Battle Passes cuz, who cares as long as "cosmetics only"
   1. Forbes Article – The Psychology of Fortnite’s Battle Pass: Explains how Battle Passes hook players by making them work for their reward. The sucky bit is that they also charge an entry fee, so to speak, to unlock your hard earned rewards. https://www.forbes.com/sites/jamiemadigan/2019/07/06/the-psychology-of-fortnites-battle-pass/#7f7f45015e61
   2. Cosmetics matter: Video by Jim Sterling exemplifying why, and how games as a service are killing videogames. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyUutk1xDew
   3. Here’s an example of a good game with cosmetic customization.Code Vein Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUtLrzHctKU
   4. Honestly, maybe I'm a dinasour that's been around for a while but I remember when cosmetics were unlockables and not DLC (as late as 2009, just look at Resident Evil 5, and that game GOT chopped up into DLC). Remember the uproar surrounding Oblivion Horse armor?Video about Horse Armor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uopSzlYo7sg

Bethesda

1. Fallout 76 promising "No game-affecting dlc" and "no Season pass"
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kR28-3lPcZA
2. Breaks promise repeatedly
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otT6w0-jGI0
   2. Article: Added Repair Kits https://www.criticalhit.net/gaming/bethesda-breaks-promise-on-cosmetics-only-atom-store-adds-repair-kits/
   3. News Post: Bethesda justifies adding non-cosmetics to store by saying, “We’ve looked at all the data” - platforms off that to break promise further https://fallout.bethesda.net/en/article/6eNqXDms6VbtrHubE26y4new-wastelanders-release-date-private-worlds-the-atomic-shop-and-more?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app
3. Fallout 1st and private server bugs (Stash disappearing, private worlds not private)
   1. Announcement Video: https://youtu.be/CMF5wSmQkDY
   2. Service is broken (SURPRISE) Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMF5wSmQkDY
   3. Article: https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2019/10/bethesda-pledges-to-fix-early-fallout-1st-bugs-and-complaints/
4. Reportedly Banning a user for reporting a bug
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPabZ3vcqmc
   2. Article: https://boundingintocomics.com/2019/11/12/bethesda-reportedly-bans-creator-of-fallout-76-interactive-map-for-finding-and-reporting-an-exploit/
5. Canvas bag debacle (buyers got a crappy nylon one, then after months of complains, actually got promised bags)
   1. Video with a nice parody song intro: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvGdhzDMy4I
   2. Article: https://www.pcgamer.com/bethesda-is-finally-gonna-ship-those-damn-fallout-76-canvas-bags/
6. One of the special edition helmets turned MOULDY and became a health hazard
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhA1NmRJPDQ
   2. Article: https://www.pcgamer.com/fallout-76-collectable-helmets-are-being-recalled-due-to-mould-risk/
7. Nuka Rum (Terrible rum, horrible material for bottle, overpriced as all hell)
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9naBulH2e9s
   2. Article: https://theradlands.com/2018/09/10/nuka-dark-rum-is-insulting/
8. Stupid overpriced jacket for game they are not fixing
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cReHb8xwmsI
   2. Article: https://www.pcgamer.com/twitter-reacts-to-dollar276-fallout-76-jacket-with-a-bunch-of-bag-jokes/
9. Refuses to refund 76, forced by Australian government, but even that had caveats.
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yw3fl3wsyJ4
   2. Forum thread discussing refunds: https://www.giantbomb.com/fallout-76/3030-68742/forums/bethesda-refusing-refunds-for-fallout-76-1859009/ (This is bad. The consumer itself is going “you can’t demand a refund just because the end-product is bad) MY DUDE.
10. Elder Scrolls Blades being a piece of crap.
    1. (Chest unlock timers in my RPG are awful)Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJHjtFx_STI
11. Horse armor! (First time cosmetic DLCs were introduced by anyone! It was Bethesda and it was Horse Armor! We laughed at this back in the day.)
    1. It’s even a meme!: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/events/horse-armor
12. Rereleased Doom on the Switch with new DRM for the 20 year old titles!
    1. Article: https://www.theverge.com/2019/7/26/8932026/doom-library-switch-drm-log-in-online-connection-bethesda-quakecon
    2. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dh7nZ9t2eJA (DISCLAIMER) They removed the DRM after uproar. They even fixed the buggy music.

Ubisoft

1. Most egregious example of greedy microtransactions, with their "Time savers"
   1. Ghost Reckon Breakpoint time savers include skill points and more: Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IM9JLr5KZJs
   2. Article: https://www.polygon.com/2019/10/4/20899162/ghost-recon-breakpoint-microtransactions-ubisoft-time-savers-ps4-xbox-one-pc
2. Then they backpedalled on it and acted like those getting into the storefront in the first place Was a mistake
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIPUILFl0eo
   2. Article: https://www.pcgamer.com/ubisoft-removes-ghost-recon-breakpoints-booster-and-skill-point-microtransactions/

Warner Brothers

1. Lootboxes in Shadow of War (which has some multiplayer, and is mostly single player, making it P2W on top of scummy. Double Scummy.)
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TXWdyrqFP8
2. Removes Shadow of War lootboxes over half a year later. Backpedals like it's their sudden realization. What about all the players that already paid for lootboxes? What about the people that were upset about this for months?
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_XEMAVTxqE
   2. Article: https://www.pcgamer.com/middle-earth-shadow-of-war-is-ditching-loot-boxes/
3. MKX Devs Burnout after getting worked up to 100 hours a week.
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_f_qe1-75w
   2. Article: https://www.pcgamer.com/former-devs-speak-out-about-severe-crunch-at-mortal-kombat-studio/

Telltale (It's dead now, but it's getting "revived" so worth remembering)

1. Massive layoffs, got sued even after closing down.
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vq6iX1htl28
   2. Article: https://www.polygon.com/2018/9/25/17901106/telltale-layoffs-lawsuit-warn-act
2. Getting bought out by another company and "revived"
   1. Article: https://www.polygon.com/2019/8/28/20835854/telltale-games-return-walking-dead-lcg-entertainment

2K

1. NBA 2K20 promoting gambling to children LIKE IT'S FINE
   1. Article: https://www.pcgamesn.com/nba-2k20/microtransactions (Video in Article has been taken down, here’s some more vids).
   2. MyTeam actual trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwN4VYzD02g
   3. Yongyea analyzes trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-junD46e9Iw
   4. PEGI defends NBA2k Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roddqD3Xqs0

Gearbox

1. Randy Pitchford assaults employees and denies due revenue.
   1. Article: https://www.pcgamer.com/former-claptrap-voice-actor-details-randy-pitchford-assault-allegations/
   2. Video by Yongyea: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7bEjCG_D8s
   3. Video by Jim Sterling: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhXXpGFU2-s
2. Alien Colonial Marines was a lie. The Demo didn't match the final product.
   1. NSFW Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eG1q3X3HxeA
   2. Photos for Comparison in this Article: https://www.ign.com/articles/2013/02/14/did-aliens-colonial-marines-screenshots-lie-to-you
   3. Article: Sega outs Gearbox for lying: https://www.destructoid.com/sega-outs-gearbox-for-lying-in-aliens-colonial-marines-case-280655.phtml

Capcom

1. BIG day 1 dlc offender. They chopped up some characters OFF their fighting game, then added them later as DLC. The reason how we know the characters were ready at launch is because the character's data CAME WITH THE DISC and the DLC just unlocked them. They sold you a full 60 dollar game and then wanted some more, by hiding the actual cost of the FULL game through sketchy means.
   1. Article: https://www.cinemablend.com/games/Capcom-Gets-Busted-Disc-DLC-Discovered-Street-Fighter-X-Tekken-40114.html

Konami

1. Killed P.T.
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRTwUShPFN0
2. Full disclosure, personal grudge: Messed up MGS5. Had a fallout with Kojima, fired him, tried to remove him from the credits like he never was a part of it.
   1. Article: https://www.polygon.com/2015/3/19/8257283/metal-gear-solid-konami-branding
   2. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYLC0rLBCtI
3. Most messed up, internal, corporate policies I've EVER seen or heard of.
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okNtRgMGNmc
4. Konami blacklisting ex-employee, messing with their health insurance and future employment opportunities
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJawlLSkj7E
5. Game franchise PACHINKO (Turning beloved franchises into gambling machines)
   1. Silent hill pachinko trailer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ht4dbyPIcM
   2. Metal gear Pachinko trailer (LOOK AT THOSE GRAPHICS GODDAMNIT) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVSRjJL1bv8
   3. Castlevania Pachinko trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UN0Te7uTi7o

Nintendo’s Mobile Division

1. Pads out Mario Kart Mobile with bots, WHILE not being upfront about it.
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiOCyTsg-yoIt makes you believe you’re playing with real players
2. Animal Crossing Pocket Camp has 2 subscription models
   1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDaGQ-vQC8k
   2. Article: https://www.polygon.com/2019/11/20/20974027/animal-crossing-pocket-camp-subscription-plans-price-features-nintendoAnd of course the game gets crippled to incentivize you to pay for a sub.

Conclusion:
If it wasn't clear by now, the companies that come out with the game's ratings, like ESRB and PEGI, that should be watching out for consumers, just cover corporate interests! Parent’s get the short end of the stick and companies just reply with empty PR statements, like “You can check the Parental Controls for your system,” which is corporate lingo for “you’re not getting your money back, we don’t care, sorry not sorry.”
Most of the money doesn't even go to the devs, if that wasn't obvious by now. They get overworked (sometimes forced to do up to 100 hours a week!), then they get laid off anyways. The money goes to executives and stakeholders, who give each other multi-million dollar bonuses and shares. These execs act like they are nice and care about the consumer, and they even do self-deprecating jokes like they are self-aware. It's just a facade to placate us, to stay on our good side while they suck more money away from us.
Game companies don’t validate their users’ grievances. They act like nothing is wrong, shut up complainers until the noise gets too loud (which not always happens) and then just do the thing they’ve been told to do for months while pretending they came up with on their own, or act like it’s some sudden realization and they’ve always had our best interests in mind...
If that isn't obvious scumbag behavior IDK what is.
I believe it is time that we as consumers put our foot down. Not because everyone else is gonna do it too and we’re gonna enforce some major change, but just because we, as individuals, refuse to be abused so. It’s up to each of us. And if enough people follow suit the market WILL change. Even if it doesn’t, that’s not a good enough reason to keep meekly paying the abusive corporations.
So, this is a list of practices I believe should be stopped, by not supporting games that enforce them:
​

1. Always online DRM.
2. Microtransactions on full 60 dollar games.
3. Microtransactions on exclusively Singleplayer games.
4. Time saving microtransactions. (If you have to save my time on a game I played for entertainment, then you’re crippling it by design, instead of focusing on making it fun… just so I have to spend money to MAKE it fun. Just give me back cheat codes.)
5. Pre-ordering (stop throwing your money at incomplete products and empty promises out of hype and misplaced loyalty).
6. Season passes
7. Justifying gating all good cosmetics behind microtransactions “because they don’t affect gameplay anyway”.I want to touch on this one.Cosmetics affect my gameplay experience. Growing up, a favorite part of a bunch of games was customizing my character, making it feel my own. It matters, that’s why game companies charge 10 dollars for a bunch of pixels; because enough players pay for those. Just look to Minecraft and Terraria and all those sandboxes, for crying out loud, and tell me it would be the same without the creative freedom to mod in your own skins. Why are we defending them taking that away and gating it behind MORE money? I’m not saying “DLC that comes afterwards should be free”. I’m saying, when I pay for a full priced game, I expect the full content they got, not a maimed version of it. I’m not buying a game in installments, that’s what episodic games are for.Seriously, there’s even a sense of elitism between paying players and “base skin” players in many games (Fortnite comes to mind prominently). Here, check out this talk that explains the psychology behind it in brutally honest terms by the very corporate execs that don’t really care about their consumers. Infamous Video - Let’s go whaling: Tricks for monetizing mobile game players with free-to-play: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNjI03CGkb4
8. With that said, Battle Passes also get on the list. On top of wanting you to spend money on cosmetics, they make you grind for them. You’re no longer buying the cosmetic, you’re buying the option to get the cosmetic by investing ungodly amount of hours on their product, on top of whatever price the Battle Pass has. This is just psychological manipulation on top of unfair content gating.
9. Gambling in video games: from lootboxes, to NBA’s predatory attempt on children. All of it. Gambling in videogames should receive an “Adult Only” rating, but if you can’t trust the ratings companies, why would you even risk being exposed to this BS?

Why support any of this anymore?
Disclaimer:
This is my take on the matter. I’ve tried to be impartial and back-up my arguments and provide as much info as I can. Truth be told, I’m quite bitter, and I’m aware. This list hurts me. I'd rather not support companies that make their living off the blood and sweat of hardworking people, and then spit in their faces. Who abuse the consumer and e-sport players and then try to take it back with lies. Who apologize like a manipulator trying to keep you nice and subdued, but do nothing about it.
We get a choice of which business practices we support and which we don't. It's up to each of us. I don’t fully expect many people to actively boycott these companies: they do provide us with valued entertainment. But I urge anyone who reads this to not be so quick to forgive, and to never forget what it used to be like, how we got here today, and what it’s cost us.
I leave you with this: These videos are a more in-depth look behind these scummy practices, and break it down pretty neatly, top to bottom.
CAAApitalism: The Successful Failure of Videogames (The Jimquisition).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmW0GhdDOvw
The Trouble with the Video Game Industry | Philosphy Tube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYkLVU5UGM8

Recently, Empire magazine featured a wonderful interview with The Rise of Skywalker writers JJ Abrams and Chris Terrio. Abrams, who also wrote/directed The Force Awakens and is among the most credible sources for any Skywalker Saga commentary, said:

”But if you’re looking at the films as one story [in regard to Palpatine], I do not know of many books where the last few chapters have nothing to do with those that came before. If you look at the first eight films, all the set-ups of what we’re doing in IX are there in plain view.”

This quote is revealing in several ways, beyond it simply reiterating similar sentiments he gave in the Vanity Fair interviews this summer. For one, it seems that Abrams has evolved his position from before as he now thinks the best way to experience the story is in chronological order—echoing sentiments by George Lucas and Daisy Ridley. It also should put a nail in the coffin of this fan conspiracy that he hates the prequels or disregards them. Obviously, Lucasfilm wasn’t going to hire someone that actively disliked half the films—as a brief aside, they have Jon friggin Favreau running interference on behalf of the prequels in interviews. The Rise of Skywalker is going to directly loop back to the prequels in its ending; it is resolving the problems and questions posed in those first three films.
Abrams is evoking the imagery of the Skywalker Saga as one chapter book, and not three or nine separate, in its storytelling. His point is valid—seldom, if ever, does a book’s ending not link back to the beginning. There’s something satisfying about stories that are circular, which is why so many foundational stories of a society (myths, religious texts, oral fairy tales) are circular. This leads to a question: How is the Skywalker Saga circular?
A few weeks ago, I talked about Anakin’s journey (links to all four posts are found here if they would be helpful in understanding where I am coming from) and how that evolves over the course of the saga. Yet, while he is the focal point in the saga, he is not the only relevant character. Padme and Palpatine, especially within the Prequels but within the saga as a whole, are the next most important characters. WhatTheForce had a superb podcast about this dynamic that should almost be required listening to any Star Wars fan. Palpatine’s return in The Rise of Skywalker is not just for some fanservicey reason—according to JJ Abrams, this comes from the highest power of them all. It serves a clear and necessary purpose in ending this story of a generation. In order to triangulate what this purpose with the ending may be, three sub-questions come up: (1) What are the central themes of Star Wars, (2) What is Palpatine’s role in the previous eight films, (3) How does Palpatine being involved in the conclusion connect to these central themes. If there isn’t this clear linkage, then it wouldn’t be so important for him to show up in the film that it was a precondition for Episode IX’s existence.
The best way of understanding the central theme of Star Wars is to do one of two things—watch Star Wars and parse out the not-so-subtle meaning or listen to George Lucas talk about it for thirty minutes to a bunch of kids.. An impactful quote from the conversation, though the whole video is worth a watch, comes from a discussion on addition:

“That [addiction] just means that you've lost sight of reality. This is a nice moment and I have to learn to let it go. But if I'm afraid of letting it go, because I can't let it go, then you're going to the dark side. Because your fear is you can't have it anymore—that has to do with relationships and ultimately your life.”

Lucas isn’t directly talking about Star Wars in this moment, but he uses some of the terminology (dark side) in reference to the way an addiction to anything—drugs, buying things, eating, gambling, or whatever—separates from reality. He links this to fear and that this fear creates the dark side. One fears to lose something and they’ll do anything to prevent losing that possession. They can't let go and because of this they turn to darkness.
Consider Anakin in the prequels in regards to Padme. He never viewed her as a person and viewed her as a “thing” to put on a pedestal and idolize, just like his mother. He couldn’t accept the reality of life (death) and sold his soul to try to prevent losing this thing. In true fairytale fashion, his deal with the devil—much like Lando Calrissian’s in The Empire Strikes Back with Vader—gets him nothing but pain and suffering. Anakin’s inability to let go precipitates all the pain the galaxy suffers. After he fails to save Padme from death, he falls into a deep anger and descends into a place where he loses sight of reality.
Padme, though, isn’t completely without blame in this story. In The Phantom Menace, she engages in a deal with the same devil as Anakin—giving him power in exchange for the protection and safety of her people. The devil gets all the power in the galaxy and Padme gets...nothing. Her people continue to suffer under the dominion of the Trade Federation until she sheds her mask and returns to her planet to broker peace between the two groups of Naboo (the Gungans and the Naboo) to fight the larger threat. Only through symbiosis can we take down what we cannot on our own, there’s simply no other way of living. But Padme learned this lesson too late and the fate of the universe became unbalanced. By trying to take the easy path, Padme planted the seeds for what would become the Empire.
What ends the Empire and brings a temporary solace of healing to the galaxy is when Anakin lets go of his anger and his addiction to darkness. When he sees his son suffering, just as his wife suffered, he regains his true self and is able to topple the tyranny that he and his wife created. He is reborn through the liberation of letting go.
This is the theme of Star Wars—when we let go of what we cannot control and accept who we are, we are reborn to our best self and can accomplish anything. We aren’t an all-powerful Sith or the paragon Jedi, we are only human. What allows Anakin to remember his humanity is the love he feels for his son, which reminds him of the wife that spiralled him down the dark path.
But if this is the case, why are there three more films? Why did the story of a generation not end after Return of the Jedi?
Because there was no real healing, only a temporary soothe. The Skywalker family was still in pieces.
Palpatine is the closest thing to “evil incarnate” in Star Wars; he is the Devil per George Lucas. He is the Serpent lurking around, whispering dark thoughts into our heroes. He is greedy and knows nothing of love. He hardly has any shred of humanity left to him. In the prequels, Palpatine is one of the three forces—he, the Jedi, and Shmi/Padme—pulling at Anakin to get his power. As Ian McDiarmid says, these films are all about “fathers and sons”. Palpatine usurps the “father” role in Anakin’s psyche from Obi-Wan in Revenge of the Sith and manipulates him to darkness in order to serve his machinations. He uses his power and wisdom for exclusively selfish purposes, which leads to the Originals films where he rules the galaxy with an iron fist until he is thrown into a pit and never seen again.
In the Sequels, Palpatine has become an increasingly looming phantom over the films. In The Force Awakens, he’s only vaguely referred to by Maz—with evil taking various shapes throughout time. In The Last Jedi, he is mentioned by name by Luke Skywalker. He is invoked as a horror story for why the Jedi are failures and need not returned. Luke still harbors fear for the Emperor all these years later; still holds so much anger for what he’s done to his family.
This is Palpatine’s role in the first eight films. He is the embodiment of evil that manipulates our heroes to create the opportunity for him to seize control and turn the galaxy to darkness. He is a selfish being who sees others not as fellow people or the shared godstuff, but as tools for his own ambition. He knows nothing of love and everything of fear, using this fear to fuel his control. He relishes in suffering and fosters pain. He is the complete antithesis of “letting go”. He never lets go until someone stronger makes him.
In hindsight, it makes perfect sense for him to return in The Rise of Skywalker. He has always been there, always lurking in the shadows controlling everything like a puppeteer with their strings. He is the Sith, the darkness, the evil. If this ninth film is to close the saga, bring a victory for all time, and see this family rise, then he has to appear in it. Anakin and Padme, Luke and Leia, and now Kylo and Rey each fight against him in their own individual journeys.
There’s this great video Lucasfilm made for children describing Palpatine. Whenever they are presenting this story to little kids, pay attention—they’re boiling it down to its most basic essence to express the simplest and most fundamental truths. In the video, they say Palpatine got the galaxy to “give up freedom for peace” and asks the kids “How would you fight someone as evil as the Emperor?”
How would you fight someone as evil as the Emperor?
Rey and Kylo will certainly reckon with this question in The Rise of Skywalker. Anakin tried to fight Palpatine using violence and pain, but that only resulted in him coming back. Decades earlier, Windu and Yoda tried to defeat the Emperor using their power and blade—both Jedi Masters failed. All these men tried to kill Palpatine and he just keeps coming back. The films make it clear that the Emperor can’t be defeated through raw, masculine power alone. Strike him down and he just keeps coming back stronger than ever. In order to defeat him, something new and novel must be done. If he is pure evil and the Devil, then through his defeat the thesis of the story would have to be evoked.
Consider how Harry Potter defeats Voldemort, not by killing him but by giving him a chance of forgiveness while defending himself. Or consider how Aang defeats Fire Lord Ozai—Aang stays true to his ideal of pacifism while also neutralizing the threat to the world. In both of these children's stories, which bear a lot in common with the Skywalker Saga, the hero defeats the villain not through violence and pain. The messages of these stories—which involve the same ideas of love and transformation through letting go of fear as Star Wars—are expressed in their climactic showdowns between good and evil.
In order to defeat Palpatine and bring balance to both this divine family as well as the galaxy, Rey and Kylo will need to simply let go of their fear and anger towards him and towards anything. Only when they do this successfully will they apotheosize to their truest self and have the power to bring balance. Once they let go, them and the galaxy will return to the reality of their true selves—beings of love and selflessness, not of greed.
Because why kill Palpatine? What does that actually do? As the films show, simply killing him does nothing. Violently responding to him comes from fear of what he could do and anger at what he has done—not the Jedi way. As Padme says in Attack of the Clones, it is perfectly natural to be angry. What is unnatural, what is wrong, is to act out of that anger. This is where the Jedi and SIth are confused—and where Rey and Kylo will do different than the past. Much like Harry or Aang, Rey and Kylo will recognize their anger and then let go of it. In letting go, they will achieve the healing victory the galaxy needs.
How letting go is expressed could take many forms. It could be a compassionate gesture towards Palpatine. It could be a refusal to kill him; a throwing down of a weapon, just like Luke all those years ago. Perhaps a hug is all it takes to defeat evil—not through anger but through integration. In whatever form it takes, Palpatine’s role in The Rise of Skywalker is to express this point of the darkness lurking within and the acceptance of it. He is fear and anger and death, and our heroes will look at this and say “Ok”. Because just like these negative things lie within all of us, within someone like Palpatine there is still humanity. There’s that shared bond that unites everyone. The “us” and “them“; “this“ and “that“—these dualities seek to break this link. Star Wars has a duality at the core of it—that of the light and the dark of the force, the Jedi and the Sith.
This isn’t to say that the Sith are “good” or the Jedi are “bad” or there is any grayness—there isn’t. But what The Rise of Skywalker has to show is this balance. Not through destruction or supremacy, nor unfettered control or power. But through unity. Through healing. Something happened in the past to make the Sith seek the revenge Maul expresses desire for in The Phantom Menace. Some ancient, long-festering wound needs healing. With the healing of this wound, symbolized by the recognition of Palpatine’s humanity, peace and balance are finally had. The past will be let go and the future will be as bright as a star.

By Request my TL;DR Posted in comments
This is an epic post of ridiculous proportions. But I wanted to be thorough in getting across what I've been through, where it started, what I've done to try and stop and what seems to be working for me right now.
Multiple rehabs, meetings and therapy.. I came to the conclusion that a physical problem within my brain (this IS a mental illness) isn't going to be cured by talking it out or hugging. Something is seriously wrong because I cannot 'choose' to stop. I have lost the ability to say no. And that was terrifying.
So I researched things myself, a lot of self experimentation and some clues which led to successfully improving my cognitive functioning enough to make the choice again.
While it will never go, it has gotten better!
Apologies for the length. I wrote it in a stream of consciousness, so I will try and edit it down tomorrow morning. I guess I wanted to include a lot so that people could relate if they are having problems with constant, chronic relapsing, even after treatment and are feeling like there is no hope.
Well.. have you tried EVERYTHING? I did.. I didn't even mention the Ibogaine treatment I did. Pretty much mentioned everything else though.
Good luck getting through this.. see you on the other side.
I began trying to stop using Heroin only 6 months after I started using it. That was over a decade ago. I was instantly addicted. The first day I tried it, led into the second day of using it. I had spent my life savings, at 27, I had the deposit for a home with my girlfriend. Well, my ex-girlfriend of 6 years. It ended because my weird drug interests became too much for her, and I don't blame her. This was even before heroin - I had been addicted to GBL and valium. I had primed myself for addiction and didn't even know it. I managed to quit those drugs with relative ease, but the breakup left me so empty, heroin found me one night and filled that hole.
Just 6 months after starting I began an insane spiral of disgust at myself for the things I couldn't stop doing. After the money dried up, that first withdrawal hit, I still have never experienced anything like it. Virtually unlimited high quality heroin (this was over a decade ago, before Fentanyl, during the Iraq war, soldiers were bringing back virtually pure product into the UK.
THAT withdrawal, it almost killed me.
Anyway..
Since then, I've been to 8 rehabs and all of them were abstinence based and believed that coming to terms with an underlying trauma, or changing your personality, or dealing with shit were the way to deal with being an addict.
This is the best the world of medicine has to offer. Eventually I would try some bizarre alternative therapies too, suffice to say, there is no cure for addiction. But for me, just being able to say no a day at a time would be a start.
Every councillor I've had has tried to tell me that the relationship with my mother or father was a factor, or that I had a trauma I had forgotten.. all these presentations and talking sessions and endless analogies about cause and effect. I just didn't feel it applies to me. I had a great childhood, I was a happy person. But the part of my brain that made decisions, weighed up the pros and cons and did my future outcome planning - was broken or non-existant. I wanted to feel good, I pursued that feeling regardless of knowing it would be bad, knowing the outcome and doing it anyway.
I decided that it was a mental health issue, but that all addicts are on a spectrum. I mean, the 8% (yes... EIGHT PERCENT) reported success rate of treatment centres says it all really. That is no better than chance. People are spending 10-30k a month on something that has less than a 1 in 10 chance of working. No matter how hard you work at it.. and Holy Shit, I wanted it.. I was fucking SICK of being SICK.. Throwing year after year away financially, socially, having no career, et. etc.
So, I worked my ASS off. Every single time as soon as the withdrawal finished in treatment, I took advantage of everything I was allowed to in those places and more. I forced myself to quit smoking, to eat PERFECTLY, to go to the gym, I even got a special pass from the centre so I could wake up at 6am and go to Hot Yoga every morning and go running in the evenings. I figured, if I was going to get addicted to something, it might as well be health and exercise.. I did what they said and abandoned my pre-conceived notions of everything - after all, when they said my thinking didn't work, they were right, so I let them brainwash me and do some of my thinking for me. I chose a higher power, I decided to try and believe there was a God, despite being a lifelong atheist.
And what happened.. after a few weeks out of rehab, looking and feeling awesome. I just had a craving and went with it. Immediately falling back into old habits, feeling miserable and undoing everything I had built up.
I was the winner in that rehab, people looked up to my commitment. I quoted shit from the AA/NA literature. I was a spiritual guru and every evening when I was doing my diary, I kept myself in check. Not to be arrogant, not to let success go to my head (How can staying away from drugs that fuck you up be successful, most of the population does it just fine..) every person that worked there said 'you got this!'. I did 120 meetings in 90 days.. I wanted it.. I wanted it.... so, why did I throw it away every single time. At the beginning of every new rehab, where that sentence of 1-3 months stretches out in front of you and you say to yourself 'well, you've done it again. You're back.. here.. again'.
My last rehab, I walked it. Everything was so easy. I didn't care at all. I had no expectations of doing well after I left. I took it a day at a time and before I knew it, I was back at the gym, eating well and got a bit more clean time under my belt. But I was scared.. I'd done this so many times before, I could run my own rehab centre I had absorbed so much of the way they speak. I've done an insane amount of meetings.. It seemed to me, there is a spectrum of addicts. Those that go to rehab, get it first time and are fine forever more. There are a few that it takes a few times to click.. and then there are the chronic relapsers, like me.
I promise you, I am not half assing. I am now as equally sick of being clean and the effort required to maintain that for me as I am using the drugs and being miserable. I want to feel normal, like I have choices, not like everything is a fighting battle that I need to check with a sponsor whether I am doing the right thing.
It took me months just to deprogram and de-indoctrinate myself from the cult like thinking of meetings. If thats how I have to live, I don't know if I can take that. Is that ungrateful, is that selfish.. is that evil to think that there is help and I am throwing it back in their faces because I don't think hugging and step work make a blind bit of difference. It's not professional, its not scientific, its got no statistics. Its a revolving door where people come for the therapy of people to moan to or if you're an egomaniac, to inspire by saying how wonderful things are for them..
I don't want any of it. I JUST want a regular brain that doesn't seemingly have no willpower at all. Even if I got well and had to think through everything I ever chose to do just to be sure I don't go off the rails - that defect keeps me awake at night. Existential crisis about the nature of free will and consciousness.
Anyway.. I've got my PhD in addiction through living this hell on earth. I've always been an addict.. it started with collections as a young kid. Obsessive stuff.. stickers, games, my music collection (without going in to specific details about just how insane my collections are - I starved myself for months to save up enough lunch money as school to buy the first 1x CD Copier so I could buy CDs, copy them and take them back for a refund. I was encoding MP3's to the biggest hard drive money could buy at the time (7GB) each song took 45 minutes to rip and encode on my 66Mhz machine. I bought an ISDN line so I could download MP3s at twice the speed of a 56k modem and 5x the price!
Blah blah.. etc etc.. It went from obsessions, to weed, making myself into the stereotypical stoner, to mushrooms (the obsession with that experience led to some extremely weird cocktails and experiences that distorted my view of reality for months at a time) to something I never thought I would do or had any interest in.. Heroin. But it grabbed me and held me and would not let go - immediately.
But my obsession with science and learning never stopped either. I've always done well at school because I over-researched. over-worked.. went ahead in the book because I am an anxious and impatient person through and through.
I do feel like I have a PhD in addiction. By living it and researching it. I have folders and folders of statistics, studies, drug trials, psychology results..
I came here to try and convince you of my story and my place on the scale of addicts. I definitely don't want to use, but I am a chronic relapser. It has got me into trouble so many times. Times when I thought.. finally.. everything is okay. No drug debts, a happy family, no impending court cases, nothing hanging over my head.. to 2 days later, I've got dealers living in my apartment, I owe money, I'm being threatened, I haven't paid my bills and I'm sick.. I need the drugs just to stop thinking about the mess that drugs got me into, and to stop myself asking 'why.. why did you do this to yourself AGAIN..' and having no good answer. Knowing exactly what was going to happen and doing it anyway. I've had so much experience seeing what using drugs does to me, I get a brief high and a comedown that manifests in life altering disasters and poor choices.
Just believe me.. there is something wrong with me and the things that make no difference are..

• therapy
• praying
• spirituality and meetings
• Just Say No! / Think it through!
• maintenance drugs
• pretty much anything on offer in the pitiful excuse for a health system or places designed to help addicts.

What does work.
If anyone is interested, I can link the myriad articles, studies etc. I mentioned and have cross references to find the collieries and what self experimentation I have done to determine what effects it has on me.
I notice everything my brain does. I have done so much yoga, meditation and mindfulness work that I know just what sort of space my brain and thoughts are in.
It is my belief that the addiction is progressive. Many people might be in that perfect 8% that get well from a trip to rehab (or quit themselves) because they haven't pruned every single neuron in their brain to point towards 'Go get drugs' as the response to virtually every thought you can have. There is some hope in reducing (but never completely rewriting - it never goes away) that cognitive outcome.
The ability to think more clearly and 'think it through' is a state of mind that is on the fence between 'no chance addict' and 'able to recover'.
There have been times when I get a craving and I am already ringing a dealers doorbell, no thinking inbetween. I knew what I wanted and there was no internal discussion whatsoever.
I know, that there have also been times where the same thought has sat, circling in my mind for a good hour before I gave in. Meaning that it can be pondered and I can say no.
One weird thing that I do, is take it out of my hands completely. Knowing that my decision if I take to long thinking will always lead to a relapse, is to make crazy deals with myself, like 'You can only cop a bag of heroin, if when you look at your watch, its an even number of minutes'. Shit like that... More often than not however, I'll play best of 3 and end up going anyway.
I've tried every 'think your way out of this disease' possible and none of them work.
However, I mentioned self experimentation..
I tried every herbal supplement known to man. From fringe science stuff like turmeric to neurochemical precursors to serotonin like 5-HTP.
I feel like I've written far too much anyway and nobody will have made it down to this point.. but..
After MUCH and I do mean MUCH experimentation and careful mindfulness about the way my brain feels and works.. I firmly believe that addiction, once programmed in after you've gone too far for some period of time, cannot ever be unwritten, but it CAN be mitigated. For the chronic relapsers, such as myself (and please, feel free to comment if you are close to me, I would feel better. I know there are many people that just get it first time, struggle 'a bit', only been using a couple years now they're in recovery for the past 10.. I don't diminish your struggle. But I am envious that your ability to think straight about this insanity, came somewhat easier than for the people at the other end of the scale that will fuck over their own parents after watching them cry and you hug them saying you'll never do it again, pickpocketing them as you hug them goodbye..
Now, for me to get to the place where I can at least consider my actions rather than skip over that part and simply wake up in a dumpster, there must be something preventing that.
Saying I tried all different chemicals.. I did. I even tried antidepressants. They DO NOT work for me at all. I'm saddened by all of this life I have wasted, but weirdly, I'm not depressed. There is a difference. Looking into what receptors are affected by SSRIs, its all about serotonin. However, there are actually 3 main neurotransmitters that work together. When one goes up, others follow to compensate. They are, Serotonin, Dopamine and Glutamate. The reason that anti-depressants work on some people, not others or take weeks to start working is because they are targeting the wrong chemical. Extra serotonin does nothing for me. But give it a few weeks and I feel a change. Which makes me believe I should be looking at other neurotransmitters.
I don't believe I have a problem with dopamine either, as I don't have parkinsons symptoms (movement disorder etc.) which is a sign of low dopamine. It's part of the 'pleasure/reward' system and while heroin hijacks it completely, after the withdrawal, the system should settle down.
Which leaves - glutamate. There are a few ways to affect the glutaminergic system, but one chemical that is being trialled for serious depression and doesn't mess around with the Serotonin or Dopamine systems is... Ketamine.
Yes, its been in the news quite a lot in psychology and science areas because a single dose seems to reverse and undo serious depression the same day for up to 6 months at a time.
Now, while I said that I don't have depression, glutamate does a hell of a lot more and is related to inflammation. Remember that, its a key point that I will come back to.
So, I decided to do a controlled experiment with ketamine. Now, you may think.. an addict, doing drugs.. Sure. That's logical. The weird thing is, if I am using something as directed, as stated on the bottle, for medical purposes or any reason other than to change the way I feel / get high.. I do not abuse it.
That's what always upset me about militant rehab centres or meetings that say 'ABSTINENT AS ALL COSTS' Even if you're dying in a road accident and require painkillers, you must refuse them because they'll make you relapse.
I don't believe a word of it. Are you telling me women have to have babies with no aid because they'll relapse the day after if they get a taste of it again.
No, for me its always been about motivation. I don't like who I am, I want to feel different.
I did say earlier that I don't think working on myself in therapy made any difference - I don't. I've worked on myself, I like myself, but I'm left with a compulsive disorder after trying to mitigate those feelings for so long.. So long its lost its original motivation and is simply an out of control vice now.
What was the result of Ketamine. I stopped using for a couple of months, I had thoughts of it that were easily dismissed, it made no real impact on my mood, except things obviously started to get better as soon as I stopped using, which made me happy!
It didn't last however.. but that was an interesting result. For a long time I had been so lost in my own spinning mind of disjointed worry, idiotic notions and outcomes unplanned for, I had forgotten what it was like to have that calmness. Where I could make decisions again, where drugs didn't rule me.
An interesting result though.
I went back to the drawing board and continued researching Glutamate. Also, the word inflammation had come up a hell of a lot during much of the reading I had been doing. I didn't understand it, so I spent a few months getting into what it was all about and what it caused..
And holy shit. Here is where I feel I've come across something really important. Do not misunderstand regarding the problems this can cause. This isn't just swollen hands, no.
While it can cause arthritis, this simple reaction to an environmental trigger affects all areas of the body and the knock on effect is an illness related to that part of the body.
One of the most profound statements I came across looking into this was "Modern medicine often treats the symptoms of an illness until the problem abates rather than treat the underlying cause'.
That seriously hit home.. Many diabetics simply take insulin in order to continue living the life they had previously. Whatever you think about 'fad diets' such as Ketogenic, it has had effects on reversing diabetes by removing the cause of the problem (sugar) rather than simply treating it. While keto may be extreme (no carbs, no sugar) it appeared that sugar was a prime source of inflammation and disease with the body.
This is a short but excellent article from Harvard Med regarding inflammation being the common thread behind many, many illnesses.
Okay, so, I'm not sure how well I explained that. But from research, it appears that the brain can be seriously impaired via inflammatory processes. Leading to dementia later in life if left unchecked, but more importantly, can mimic the symptoms of obsessions and addictions.
I wonder, if I am on the spectrum for people that are sensitive to this effect. While genetically I may have been off to a worrying start with the way I obsessed in childhood, there was no guarantee that I would end up being addicted to drugs - however, once I was primed, my risk/reward system was hijacked and all roads lead to heroin.
Then, I'm sure a terrible diet, no exercise, no sleep and just about every unhealthy decision I could make was causing all sorts of poor reactions in my body.. and every year, getting older, it was getting harder and harder to feel like there was any hope. My thoughts were looking less and less like my own and I had given up giving up. Rehabs were becoming tedious when I knew the outcome and lost hope. The only thing out there that gave me any sort of comfort, was thinking that I was smart enough to work this out by myself.
I honestly felt like I had given it my all (certainly all my money to snake oil salesmen anyway) and these so-called 'solutions' that the government relied on just to be able to say 'help exists out there for addicts of all kind' (To me, food, drugs, sex, gambling.. its all the same thing. It's not the high that is the problem, its the inability to change your decision to do whatever it is you can't stop doing. Once you're locked into that, like gravity, nothing you can do will prevent falling for it. Again and again and again.
I felt like it was up to me.
I'd tried exercise on its own and it gave me a great boost in confidence and motivation. It wouldn't stop me from using, but in my day to day living, if I felt better, I couldn't argue that a great feeling in my body was a good thing. I'd also gotten addicted to exercise. I'd began a routine of an hour, but then slowly added more and more running, weights, machines that if I wasn't doing 2-3 hours a day I would get anxiety attacks thinking that if I took a day off, I'd relapse. As I said, I knew exercise wasn't keeping the problem away, just at bay. I'd replaced one obsession with another and it was becoming unhealthy..
I'd changed my diet to what I believed to be healthy. I was eating a lot of fruits, whole grains, the general food pyramid but with more vegetables as I was trying to lose weight too. Because I never had money for food while using, I used to pocket chocolate in most shops I would visit and live off that. It was suicide. I wasn't fat, but not having protein or adequate vitamins, I had lost definition and my skin looked bad.
After some further reading, another relapse, another detox. I decided to try and reduce inflammation. (Note - inflammation is not swelling, I'm not talking about my feet hurting after a 10k run, this is an internal issue relating to cell tissue - check the link above to get more of your head round it).
I was willing to try anything at this point.
I decided to go Keto. Cut out absolutely all sugar and carbohydrates (I'm quite sure limited good quality carbohydrates are important occasionally, but I also read that this diet is safe - I had to make sure of that if I was going to try a long term experiment. After making sure I was getting everything I neeeded vegetable wise, I made sure my energy intake was coming from fatty products like avacado, quality fatty meats, fatty fish like salmon etc. I worked hard. Many keto people wax lyrical about the joy of eating a block of cheese a day. While that it technically keto, I don't believe it is in the spirt of healthy eating either)
My parents were in tear again, watching me destroy myself and they offered to take me away from it all in order to try and get a fresh start. They booked a last minute, inexpensive cruise with all you can eat buffet on board. Which meant I could pick and choose my food and not have to annoy restaurants!
Not that I ate for the first 3 days. After we set sail, withdrawal kicked in hard and I was just sick, couldn't keep anything down, shivering, sweating.. Slowly I pulled it together and had a really great time actually, despite the no energy. By the end, I managed to keep up with my 70 year old parents, but only because it felt like I was dragging small weights on every limb instead of the tractor tyres there at the start.
By the end of the first week eating Keto some weird stuff happened. I wasn't fat to begin with, but I dropped almost 12lb in weight. I was peeing ALL the time. This is the infamous water weight that these fad diets think you'll believe will continue. It does not. Your weight continues to decline, but at a much more sensible weight. However, what this did show, was that due to inflammation, your body tends to hold onto large amounts of water. The cause of which being the processing of sugar and carbohydrates with insulin.
I know I should be feeling worse. But a fog lifted from my brain. I felt clear. I could swear I was hearing things better, that my vision looked sharper. People I met laughed at my jokes! I had a quiet confidence - and drugs entered my mind, I won't lie. But, they also left.
I chalked a lot of it up to a psychosomatic effect - the fun of being away (except, I was still sick and withdrawing. Something under all that did feel different).
Upon return, I surprised myself. I didn't go and get high 3 minutes after throwing my suitcase on the bed. I sat, calmly and put some music on. Music always being such a huge passion of mine, I burst into tears having not listened to anything for SO long because my thoughts had been so desperately weird and I was never in the mood. The feeling of clarity didn't leave me either. It never got stronger, it wasn't like I had such laser like focus I could beat a chess grandmaster, but I was closer to what I would call 'normal' that ever before.
Again, instead of walking out the house to 'that part of town'. I joined the gym.
I didn't obsess. I got a job and things were sensible.
I got complacent. I began eating the free chocolate in the break room at my job. (This was the highest paying job I have ever had. A computer company. 6 months training just to begin working with their software. I breezed through the interview with 10 other people, completed the training a month early and was top guy within 2 months, winning every work prize going - trips out to racecourses to drive supercars, free beer and chocolate endlessly)
I forgot to mention. I quit drinking (I never really drank anyway, never did enough for me..) but its not really compatible with keto anyway.
The incentives from this major company (I won't give it away, but suffice to say, it was among the top 40 companies to work for in the UK last year) were nearly all alcohol, chocolate and sugar related. To get people to come in early there was free sugary cereal, lunchtime free choc/cereal bars, do the most work that month, help the most customers .. winning = sugar, was the takeaway from that.
Am I blaming the company for slowly caving? Yeah, I kinda am. As an addict (or possible alcoholic) I don't think that giving people without questioning their preferences wine, beer and everything sugary imaginable every month is either ethically acceptable or healthy in any way. My god, I just had a flashback. Almost everybody that worked there was horribly overweight - verging on morbidly. I was proud of looking the way I did.
It was easy to resist at first because I got to observe monkey feeding time often, which put me off. The token gay guy in the office baked chocolate cakes, muffins, frosted things, glazed things, sugar overload.. constantly, and left them on the centre table. He used to Email:All [Subject: I've baked treats for everyone!] The fatties used to wheeze over to the table and take fistfuls of cookies and slices of cake to smear over their faces and drop crumbs into their keyboards. Then complain they couldn't lose weight to me on their lunch break while the tried to look dedicated eating a few rounds of toast or something their wanted people to perceive as healthy and that they were just unfortunate. Lady, I'm a heroin addict. I see through you, because you are me, you just like a different chemical in your veins.
I was doing well.. I was doing so well I had actually upset people by winning most of the monthly prizes. I often gave them away though as I couldn't have anything to do with them.
But as I was given more responsibility. I began coming in earlier, I wanted eggs and bacon in the morning or a meat and cheese platter at lunch, but everything either offered or given to me was completely incompatible with what I was trying to achieve.
I slowly began to cave.
My reasoning.. "Yeah, this diet makes me feel pretty good and I'm not using any more - but surely it's just another obsession"
It didn't feel like an obsession. It felt like I was so rocksteady in my control that I could say no to things. And that was a weird feeling, it almost set me off balance thinking about it.
It took less than a month before I had put on about 15-20lb. It turns out I'm so awesome I can turn my hand to any addiction. Sugar.. as it turns out, if it is all around you, at all times and free - my brain tells me that it might as well be consumed (and it promises to give me a little hit of dopamine in return).
The brain fog came down like a British summer and my numbers became totally erratic. My manager called me in to see her a few times. I was making some weird mistakes too. I felt sleepier in the afternoons, actually nodding off once and a co-worker actually kicked my chair as I walked past to save me from the boss.
I had clearly lost the power of choice. It took about 2 more weeks before I was back using again.
I was fired a month after that for.. well, being a smacked out employee no longer giving his best, oh and leaving a bunch of drug paraphernalia and burnt foil in the bathroom didn't help.
I was called in, questioned and fired on the spot. All in all it took less than 3 minutes from 'A word please...' to 'Clean out your desk and leave now'.
I'm sure people knew, I'm sure people talked. Not one person said goodbye. I was crushed. I had attempted friendships, but the tolerance of drugs and addicts amongst the straight laced office workers is virtually non existent. That girl I fancied on reception was out of the picture now I guess. My dream of having a relationship for the first time in years was dashed too.
I drifted further into it and burned all my savings on heroin again.
I forgot what I had learned and began to believe there was no hope again.
By a miracle chance, I was offered rehab again. I took the opportunity, not to listen to what they had to say (by the 8th time, there's nothing new they can teach you. I'm sure the NA literature even says that you must become 'teachable' and humble in order to accept the program. Whatever that means. I just don't want to be mentally ill anymore. You think schizophrenics need real medication or a group that says a prayer and a spiritual program is all you need.
Like I said. It's a spectrum. Some people need therapy, I did not. Some people get it first time. I did not. Some people need a program and way of living because they never had the opportunity to learn to live right, either due to childhood issues or just been using so long they forgot how to live. If it works, it works. If it doesn't, don't just keep trying expecting a different result - that truly is insanity, try something different until it works.
I used my time in rehab to get a professional detox, spend time in the gym and alter my eating again. Although, this time I found it extremely difficult to stop binging on junk and sugar. I seemed I had picked up an additional obsession. That was a strange realisation as it had been so easy before.
Eventually, I did get a few days under my belt and then I began feeling the mental haze, the fogginess lift. My sleep improved. It became like clockwork. Something I have always struggled with (and something that also causes inflammation. Sleep cleans the brain of damaged proteins. It's thought that buildups of uncleaned brain chemical leftovers can contribute to dementia)
I was falling asleep faster than ever, waking up at exactly the same time and jumping out of bed for the gym.
That was in January this year. I got out in February and not wanting to feel restricted, I have introduced, very slowly, certain sensible foods into my diet. I eat no sugar at all, but complex high GI carbs, I eat sparingly. No fruit (fructose) but loads of vegetables. I wouldn't give my diet a fad name, but it works for me and I want for nothing! The thought of actually eating something sweet after this long actually makes me feel a bit sickly.
I have to say, the time before when I caved, that first bite made my teeth hurt. My taste buds had become so much more sensitive, tuned to the sweetness of red pepper or tomato - going back to pure sugar I realised how accustomed to it we have all become, its in everything and its lethal (seriously). I guess there's a reason its a white powder!
So, this is the story of what worked for me. How much I tried and what I came to understand what was wrong with me. There is something I am sensitive to in the foods around me that are affecting my body and my mind in a way that prevents me from thinking clearly - and at its peak effect, totally destroys my ability to make rational choices about substances that will kill me - that I don't even want, but the neural pathways laid down over years of abuse have become so streamlined that using drugs has become more of an instinct, a muscle memory, rather than a thought process.
I must say, I haven't stopped working on this problem.
If you want to improve your chances of success when it comes to getting and staying clean. If you have tried antidepressants and don't feel they quite fit right, but were perhaps tickling the right area. May I suggest experimenting on yourself.
Ketamine for me, I actually quite enjoy. If I had access to it all the time and wasn't treating it like an important test to determine if something was affecting my brain negatively (glutamate not being processed correctly, potentially due to inflammation) then I most certainly would be addicted to that too.
Now, what has the feeling of control given me back - am I cured?
No. As I have tried to reiterate, those mental pathways are etched in stone and aren't going anywhere. Whether genetic (certainly my family has this problem in abundance in various forms - from shopping to gambling and drink), whatever the trigger, the problem lives within me now, so I must remain vigilant. But my day to day life I have thought about what I used to be like less and less. If I feel like thinking about it, I try and do it in the safe environment of a meeting - where you can relate to people that used to or still have serious drug issues. I'll pop in once a month or so.
I know I am not cured, it's still early days (10 months or so). However, I really feel like after all this time, I'm on the right track. It's different this time, it's not just me had enough, I have clear empirical evidence that something alters the way I think and that I should avoid it - this in turn lets me stay sober through choice, not by fight.
The bottom line to all of this.. and I wish I could go back and edit this outline into a more amusing, better punctuated and more streamlined saga than this barrel of monkeys I poured onto the keyboard... but I just had to get it out to see if anybody related and if it might help someone else.. is that..
SUGAR
Does seriously seem to be a massive trigger in causing and maintaining certain addictions (clearly obese people have chosen the actual cause as their actual drug too).
Some people I have seen make no change to their diet and do really well in recovery. This isn't a one size fits all solution as clearly different things work for different people - but I see a lot of young people (stubborn and impulsive) actually do better than the older people. Is this because they are more tolerant to sugars and have done less damage that long term users that have had bad diets?
I'm not saying I have all the answers. Nor that this is even correct. But I don't suffer placebos gladly. If I don't get absolutely blasted out of my mind or feel an effect when I take something, I don't accept it as having done anything. If the box says 'take no more than 1 pill every 12 hours', or course, I'll eat 6 because I want the effect to work and be 3x stronger than those wimpy doctors suggest. Whether its a narcotic or just antibiotics.. my mind always says 'more is always better'.
I absolutely feel a difference when my body is running on a different form of energy (in case you were wondering, if you take carbohydrates away, your body produces ketones and runs the bodies energy from the breakdown of fat. It feels totally different. Ever eaten a huge pizza or pasta and felt sleepy. Well, I believe there is a low level of that feeling constantly if you're running on glucose for energy.
Try it for yourself, see if you feel any different. Give it a chance.
For me, it was a silver bullet.
Top ups and supplements:
My parents read a lot about the things I was suggesting to help myself. They've been rather amazingly supportive, even in my worst times - I have some Ketamine that they look after and I have told them to administer 10mg per hour for 3 hours once every 3 months. Which is roughly the amount of time that it seems to clean everything up for. Eating badly of course makes it worse, faster. But I've kept up a strict and excellent diet which makes me feel different, sleep different, think different.. its quite dramatic in my case.
And, finally...
CBD
I think that some people without issues as extreme as me, might get away with being able to just take a couple drops of CBD under their tongue once a day.
I've been looking into CBD. I suggest you Google CBD+ your own search terms.. 'Withdrawal','addiction','inflammation'..
Its fascinating. Don't buy cheap.. it matters. I know, I tested them all. Yes, it will help with sleep and anxiety during withdrawal. Studies suggest a single dose and prevent relapse for a few months at a time (again, suggesting it is having an effect in the body that was causing an impairment in thinking and that having relieved that issues, the subject can decide correctly whether to relapse or not. After the effect is mitigated, the issue comes back)
I believe it reduces inflammation. DO NOT expect to feel anything. The effect is subtle. But I noticed that I was calmer, slept somewhat better and it integrated perfectly into the diet. Whatever cutting poisonous sugar did, this continues to do also.
I'd say that it is essential for addicts and that they should be prescribed it as a continued aid to their recovery. Actually, it should be prescribed while the person is still using as it may trigger the desire to quit also.
Regarding CBD oil.. There is a vast range of this stuff. From cheap and useless, to $150 per small bottle. I splashed out and decided to try one of the most expensive 2000mg CBD per bottle
Oh, and like I said. Drugs depend on context and intent. Smoking medical low THC high CBD weed is absolutely allowed in my opinion for people that will always 'need' something to help with their anxiety or as an outlet. Simply. Not everyone has the time to become a mindfulness, meditation guru. People don't want to give up their careers because of the mantra 'If it gets in the way of my recovery, it's gone..'.
I'm sorry, but I want choice. Isn't that the point of recovery, to gain the ability to choose back.
Of course, meditation I recommend (Stress, again, major cause of inflammation), yoga even more!
Although every rehab I've been to has said 'abstinence is the only way'. (Incidentally, there's always been some 17 year old kid who's parents have dropped him off at rehab from smoking too much weed.)
Unfortunately, weed in places that haven't legalised it, we are more likely to end up buying the super strong skunk (high THC, low CBD) does seem to be causing mental health issues because THC is almost psychotic at high doses with no CBD to balance the effect. This is why its so important to legalise it - choose the variety that works for you. I don't want to be blasted out of my head, I want to feel relaxed and I just don't know what I'm buying on the street.
I guess that's it. If you made it this far - I got everything I think I ever wanted to say off my chest. I will go back and edit this down over the next day or so.
Hope you related.
Hope you got hope.
The standard model of recovery simply does not fit me. I needed more, a more drastic change, my brain is fundamentally impaired.
Will you be in the grand 8% of people that graduate rehab and succeed. Lets face it.. fucking unlikely.
If you don't think its going to work for you. Find your own solution. Augment. Supplement. Build your own recovery.